Flyers Lose, Fans Flip Off Former Flyer

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My grade school was terrible at basketball. The St. Martha’s teams I played for did not win a game in either 7th or 8th grade. I was not yet five feet tall and not very good, so I didn’t play much. One night we were losing big to St. Dominic’s; I remember it well because it was played in a gym where some parts of the sideline were concurrent with a radiator. There was not much to be excited about. On the bench I asked a teammate what he was doing after the game. “We’re going to Joe’s house,” he said, “to make fun of the other team until we feel like we’ve won.”

When your team loses, moral victories are important. It’s good to have a coping strategy. The Philadelphia Flyers have not won the Stanley Cup since 1975 — a drought so long even St. Martha’s has won a title in that timeframe. Last night, the Flyers lost to the New York Rangers, 4-1, in Game 3 of the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The Rangers lead the best-of-seven series, two games to one, and they’ve outplayed the Flyers for most of it. Last night’s 4-1 Flyers loss was the best the team’s played all series! If you handle Philadelphia’s perennial sports failures by giving up as soon as you just know, now’s a good time to start giving up.

But, oh, what a moral victory Flyers fans had Tuesday night.

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Poet Walks Through Bensalem, Avoids Being Hit by Car

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One of Bensalem’s best known spots. Photo: MerchantCircle.com

I grew up in Far Northeast Philly but went to high school in the suburbs. Add in trips to the Neshaminy Mall and time spent in Wawa parking lots and the place I’ve probably spent the second-most time in my life is Bensalem, Pa.

The township doesn’t seem like the ninth-largest municipality in Pennsylvania -— it barely feels like a singular town at all, with various communities of the township retaining different characteristics. If I want to make my high school sound fancier, I could say it was in Cornwells Heights.

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Philadelphia 4/20 Protest Features No Marijuana Smoking After Show of Police Force

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Photo | Dan McQuade

4/20 is now enough of an actual holiday that NBC’s hockey coverage made a pot joke yesterday. But while people in Colorado lit up legally on 4/20 for the first time, Philadelphia’s pro-marijuana legalization rally yesterday featured no smoking whatsoever.

The “Smoke Down Prohibition” protests at Independence Hall have been around since 2012. While the first several protests went by without incident, National Park Service and other federal police eventually started to make arrests. Several protesters were arrested in May 2013. The federal government eventually warned of “serious penalties” for anyone smoking pot at Independence Hall. After an arrest on June 30th of last year, local pot activist Chris Goldstein is now banned from pot protests at Independence Hall. He also received a $3,000 fine and two years supervised probation. “My probation officer noted it was the harshest sentence for misdemeanor possession of a controlled substance on federal land he’s ever seen,” Goldstein said in a statement.

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Donovan McNabb Served One Day in an Arizona Jail

mcnabb-mugshotUPDATE, 6:45 p.m.: This statement has just been released by the office of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Donovan McNabb was booked in the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office Detention facility on 4-16-2014 by order of the West Mesa Justice Court. McNabb was released from county jail after serving one day for a misdemeanor DUI charge. Sheriff Arpaio says “I have had other high-profile athletes who have been incarcerated with no problems and this latest athlete follows that same pattern.”

UPDATE, 6 p.m.: TMZ is reporting that the arrest was for DUI on December 15, 2013. As part of a deal, he pleaded guilty on March 27th and was ordered to serve one day in jail.

ORIGINAL: On Thursday, Maricopa County, Arizona, released a mugshot of former Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb. The mugshot, which was released without any information on the charges McNabb faced, was first posted to Twitter by KTVK-TV. Pro Football Talk noted that it is extraordinarily rare for a mugshot to be released without any information on the arrest.

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Candy Factory Owner: Mayor Nutter Ruins Easter for Philadelphia’s Children

The City of Philadelphia shut down Blasius Chocolate Factory on Wednesday over a tax dispute. The 88-year-old candy company’s owner, Philip Kerwick, says he has a $12,000 delinquent tax bill.

Blasius is a popular place to buy Easter candy. “These last four days make or break me,” Kerwick told Action News. “I don’t think I will be able to survive this year.” Last year, Kerwick said Easter candy made up half of his sales. The shop is only open from late November to Mother’s Day.

Kerwick is disputing the tax bill, and says city officials didn’t appear at a hearing to negotiate a payment. He’s (quite understandably) angry. And he ranted on the Chris Stigall show on 1210 this morning.

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6 GIFs That Prove the Phillie Phanatic Is the Best Mascot Ever

Though I think it would be obvious to all right-thinking people, not everyone believes the Phillie Phanatic is the best mascot in all of recorded history. Allow me to disabuse you of your ignorance by making a simple case in six GIFs from last night’s cold Phillies loss.

The particular Phanatic bit I’ll be focusing on happened in the third inning.

As you can see, the Phanatic was harassing a fan in the stands, as he is wont to do. This is my favorite part about the Phanatic: Its whole shtick is to be jerks to fans of the team he is supposedly a phanatic of. This is the kind of irony kids should be learning in school, alongside Shakespeare.

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Gunmen Nab $105K from Armored Truck in Northeast Philly

NBC 10 reports two men with assault rifles held up a Garda armored car this morning, getting away with $105,000 in cash.

Police say the two men, wearing black bandanas over their faces, robbed an armored car at the TD Bank at Frankford and Wells in Tacony. The men then hopped into a white van before ditching that car to jump into a white Cadillac. They may have accomplices in that last car.

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Man Goes on Broad Street Subway Tracks to Retrieve Orange

Photo | Jeff Fusco

Photo | Jeff Fusco

CBS 3′s Todd Quinones had a wild report last night: Two different passengers ended up on the subway tracks yesterday.

SEPTA (and by extension CBS 3, and also me) would like to warn you to not go on the subway tracks. The “third rail” near the edge of the platform is electrified and could kill you. Also, since this is perhaps not obvious, a train could also hit you and kill you. It’s not worth it!

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