The Best Thing That Happened This Week

2014 ended. Duh. And now, an ode to the year that was.


Tom’s out, Tom’s in,

Cosby’s blamed for lots o’ sin.

Cops shoot, shot back,

Eric Frein, Sony hack,

Uber rides, SEPTA birth,

Missing planes fall back to earth

Phils stoop, Eagles droop,

Sixers are a bag of poop.

Philly Jesus, gluten-free us,

Where we are, the Google sees us,

Bucks young folk behaving badly;

Shane Montgomery left us, sadly;

Katz plane crashes. Penn frat boys

Take photos with blow-up toys,

Mo’Ne throws, Christie blows,

It snows and snows and snows and snows!

Porny judges, Penn State bowl

Ready for your selfies, all?

Legal pot, Cuban thaw,

Comcast service, EBOLA!

Fountain closed, casinos too.

Swiss Cheese Pervert, is that you?

Main Line druggies! Gays can wed!

Lynne Abraham — isn’t she dead?

Sheridans murder plot?

Gargano’s gone but Eskin’s not.

Kobe’s old, Howard too,

Kathy Kane’s worse off than you.

That’s it for another year —

It can just go up from here.