This Guy Hates the PPA More Than You Hate the PPA
And speaking of the PPA, drivers got 3,053 more reasons to hate it on Monday. Plus, the endorsement bonanza continues. Ad nauseam.
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This Guy Hates the PPA More Than You Hate the PPA
It’s been a while since we’ve had a good “I Hate the PPA” story.
The last one might have been in 2022, when Philly band Snacktime delivered us the anti-PPA song we’d long been waiting for. So I was delighted when Philadelphia comedian Chris Aileo emailed me on Monday. Aileo seems to hate the PPA more than you hate the PPA. Or, at the very least, he has waaaaaayyyy too much time on his hands.
In recent days, Aileo released the following video, in which he uses stats (which we have not independently verified), anecdotes from people on the street (ditto), and just general hate-filled analysis and commentary to make the case that the Philadelphia Parking Authority is, to use his words, the “most evil” parking enforcement agency in all of these United States. It’s definitely the most enjoyable anti-PPA propaganda I’ve seen in some time.
You can follow Aileo here on Instagram.
Speaking of the PPA …
The Philadelphia Parking Authority just found another 3,053 haters on Monday. The agency previously announced a new enforcement effort in street-sweeping zones, and that effort began in full force on Monday. According to PPA spokesperson Marty O’Rourke, PPA agents issued 3,053 tickets on Monday for cars illegally parked in street-sweeping zones. At $31 per ticket, that’s almost $95,000 in penalties in just one day. I’m sure those ticketed aren’t too happy with the situation. But those of us who like our streets swept are probably okay with it.
If I were to design a Philadelphia 2023 Mayoral Election Drinking Game, you’d definitely have to take a shot anytime someone from outside of Philadelphia endorsed Helen Gym. And another shot anytime a local elected official (current or former) endorsed Cherelle Parker. Both lists are long and just got longer, with U.S. Representative Greg Casar of Texas endorsing Gym and former Councilmember Maria Quiñones-Sánchez, who recently dropped out of the mayoral race, throwing her support in the direction of Parker.
Penn Med Isn’t Too Happy With Certain TikTok Videos
Yesterday, I showed you the cease-and-desist letter the Gym campaign sent to nearly every TV station in the Philadelphia area because of an anti-Gym commercial she says is a lie. And I just learned of another case of important people being unhappy with videos, thanks to the Daily Pennsylvanian. According to this report from the University of Pennsylvania’s college newspaper, Penn Medicine asked a judge to issue takedown orders for two TikTok videos. Those videos, posted by Philadelphia personal injury attorney Thomas Bosworth, set out to show that understaffing at Penn Medicine is leading to dangerous conditions. A judge denied Penn’s motion, and the legal battle continues.
Here’s your photo of Philly’s own Quinta Brunson of Abbott Elementary fame at last night’s Met Gala in New York:
Elizabeth Wellington of the Inquirer is not a fan of this look, in case you care.
Hooters fans, take note: The Philly band that brought us the ’80s hits “And We Danced” and “All You Zombies” just announced their first U.S. tour since the ’90s (they tour Europe quite a bit) and their first studio album since 2010. The band’s upcoming three-night run at Ardmore Music Hall is sold out.
By the Numbers
80: Forecasted high for next Tuesday, though we have to get through some lows in the low 40s before we get there. And, alas, the Shore is still 10 degrees behind Philly.
$0: Amount of an assessed $935,000 in back wages and damages that the owner of two local sushi restaurants has paid, four years after being ordered to do so, according to this Inquirer story.
23%: Decrease in the total number of homicides in Philadelphia through the end of April, compared to the same time period last year.
82.9%: Increase in auto thefts for the same time period.
And from the Still-Flyin’-High Sports Desk …
We’d no sooner recovered from the shock of the Sixers win last night (read about that here) than the Phils got started in their series against the Dodgers in L.A. Hey, everything’s coming up roses for Philly: Did you hear Bryce Harper is cleared for tonight’s game?
DOCTOR: And do you feel any more pain in your elbow?
BRYCE HARPER: Why don't you ask the pain if it feels me
DOCTOR: [checking box 'cleared to play'] oh my god
— Justin Klugh (@justin_klugh) May 1, 2023
Okay, maybe not quite everything. Tony Gonsolin mowed down the first three Phils, and in the bottom of the first, Will Smith took Taijuan Walker out of the park. Castellanos singled to start the second, but Gonsolin got the next three men out. Walker, um, walked James Outman and Miguel Vargas, and damned if David Peralta didn’t hit one out, too: 4-1 already, Phils?
In the third, Stott got a two-out single, but Turner flied out. And Jason Heyward hit … a solo homer off Walker: 5-0. Never fear; Schwarber answered with a solo of his own in the fourth. Alas, the Dodgers’ fourth was a total f-fest that ended with L.A. up 8-1 and Andrew Vasquez in for Walker. He got the final two outs.
Again with two outs, Stott walked and Turner singled in the fifth, bringing up Schwarber, who walked to load them up for Castellanos. He faced a new pitcher — righty Phil Bickford — and hit a line drive that knocked in two: 8-3. And still two men on base … but Brandon Marsh was called out on strikes.
After striking out the first two batters in the sixth, Vasquez gave up a walk, a single, and a ground-rule double that took a crappy-ass bounce: 9-3. He struck out Freddie Freeman, though. In the top of the sixth, J.T. tripled to lead things off; with one out, Bohm singled him home … and Sosa hit into a DP. Yunior Marte, who’s been so strong, came in for Vasquez for the bottom of the inning. With two outs, Jason Heyward doubled, but Marte got the strikeout to end the threat.
Victor Gonzalez came in for Bickford for the seventh and notched three quick outs. Kimbrel replaced Marte in the second half and got two outs; Bohm made a great play on a foul drive. Gonzalez then gave up a walk to Michael Busch, who stole second … and Mookie Betts hit a two-run homer. Man, the long ball was killing us: 11-4. Sigh. Good thing the bases were cleared, because Freeman then doubled. Pitching change! Rob brought in Luis Ortiz, who got the third out.
In the bottom of the eighth, Ortiz gave up a single and two walks, loading the bases, then gave up a grounder that scored another run. Good thing the Sixers won, because otherwise, we would have been morose about this game. I couldn’t bear to watch the rest of the eighth and ninth. Final score in the mess: 13-4.
The Union play LAFC again tonight in the CONCACAF Champions League semifinals; so far, the two teams are dead even. And the NBA MVP announcement comes tonight. Gee, maybe the Sixers should have looked more bereft without him? KIDDING!
All Philly Today Sports Desk coverage is provided by Sandy Hingston.