John Bolaris Testifies: I Did NOT Shit Myself

He takes the stand in Miami. Plus: A Main Line runner wins the Philadelphia Marathon, Joe Biden comes to the Jersey Shore, and more of what you need to know this morning

Bolaris Denies Defecation Situation. The weather guy told a Florida court room — and later Dan Gross — that the alleged soiling of his shorts did not happen during his encounter with two alleged members of an Eastern European crime ring. “I did the right thing. I fought back because I was the victim of a crime. I know in my heart I was scammed by a well-orchestrated crime ring,” he says. [Daily News]

Ardmore Runner Wins the Philadelphia Marathon. Mike McKeeman crossed the line in 2:17:51, just shy of the course record. Russia’s Irina Mashkantceva was the first woman, with a course record 2:35:35. A total of 30,000 runners were on hand, God bless them.  [Philadelphia Marathon]

State Freezes Funds at Nonprofit Tied to Dwight Evans. The Inquirer says a confidential state audit finds $1.5 million in grants were mismanaged by the Urban Affairs Coalition. Wrapped up in the whole thing is Leland Beloff, a former city councilman convicted of extortion 25 years ago in a scheme with Nicky Scarfo. [Inquirer]

Eagles Pummeled by Redskins. Final was 31-6, and Shady McCoy left the game with a concussion. Other than that it was a lovely afternoon. The boys at Birds 24/7 have the lowlights here. [Birds 24/7]

Joe Biden Visits the Jersey Shore. The VP toured Seaside Heights and talked to people. A lot. [NBC Philadelphia]

Online Voting Not Coming to Philly Area Anytime Soon. In fact, there aren’t even plans to let you register to vote online. [Newsworks]