Here’s How You Can Spend $198,172 on the Phillies Today

And that's without getting into a single game.

Since you have so much disposable income to throw around, here are ten ways to spend it on eBay while showing your love for America’s best baseball team. (Right, guys?)

$92,460 Lifetime Phillies License

The most expensive Phillies item on eBay is a lifetime license for four seats in Section 107 (your view seen here) starting in the 2013 season, meaning that if the Phils somehow pull off the big one this year, you’re out of luck. Note that the $92,460 lifetime license doesn’t actually get you tickets to a game. It just gives you first dibs on buying those tickets. And in case you’re wondering, at $34 per ticket and 81 regular season home games each year, a full season of homestand baseball in your licensed seats would cost you an additional $11,016.

$60,000 Phillies Domain Names

So you want to start a Phillies blog or sell unlicensed Phillies gear online? Someone in Cherry Hill has registered Phillies-related domain names and will happily transfer them to you for the right price. It’s $25,000 for and $15,000 for (you’d want both, to eliminate domain confusion). And is priced at $20,000. Of course, the Phillies probably won’t be happy that you’re utilizing their trademarked name for commerce.

$13,999 Phillies Scorecard

This unused scorecard from a September 5, 1895 game against St. Louis (we won 12-6) features a portrait of the great “Sliding” Billy Hamilton, who left the team the following year to join the Boston Beaneaters, now known as the Atlanta Braves.

$7,999 Phillies Baseball Card

Apparently, people are still collecting baseball cards even though every time I watch Pawn Stars or Auction Kings, they say that 99 percent of the cards out there are not worth the paper they are printed on, and I am pretty sure they mean that literally. So this 1955 rookie card for Phillies pitcher John “Jack” Meyer, who died of a heart attack at 34 while watching a basketball game, must be a one percent-er. The card came out of a package of franks, meaning there is 57-year old hot dog DNA on it.

$6,500 Ryan Howard Jersey

I know what you’re thinking: That’s not a Ryan Howard jersey! But it is. At least, that’s what the seller says it is. Specifically, this jersey is said to be one that Ryan Howard wore (and therefore sweated in!) in 2001 when he played for the Batavia Muckdogs, a Minor League team that was affiliated with the Phillies at the time.

$5,995 Index Cards Autographed by Phillies

If you can find a use for a bunch of 3×5 cards (remember 3×5 cards?!) signed by various Phillies from the 1920s through 1986, now you know where to find 850 of them.

$4,995 Baseball Bat

Oh, not just any baseball bat, but one used by Dick Allen in the 1967 All-Star Game, the same year that Allen nearly ended his career when he smashed his hand through the headlight of a car he was pushing, back when baseball players would actually push cars. Allen also signed the bat. It’s worth noting that of all the Phillies signed game used bats currently on eBay, Allen’s is the highest-priced, with Mike Schmidt at $4,500 and Pete Rose at $3,995.

$4,695 National League Championship Ring

No, Darren Daulton isn’t hawking his ring to fund his exploration into the occult. This is a salesman sample that is exactly the same as a players’ ring except that the stones in it are cubic zirconia.

$1,499 Phillies Watch

Tell time and show your team spirit.

$30 Phillies Beach Umbrella Print

You just have to have this.