Ask the Expert: I Want to Write Our Own Vows but My Fiancé Doesn’t—Help!



Question: I wanted to write our own vows for our ceremony, but my fiancé wants to go with the traditional ones. Is there a way to personalize traditional vows to find a happy medium?

Answer: The good news, says local officiant Alisa Tongg, is that there’s no rule that requires the bride and groom to recite the same vows. Where your partner may feel overwhelmed by writing something, many people feel traditional vows don’t fully capture modern marriage.

“During the ceremony-creating process, I’ll share a collection of my favorite vows with the couple; they can then select different sets, create a hybrid of the promises that most apply to their relationship, switch out the language so it sounds more natural, and, if they want, write something of their own,” Tongg says.

This article originally appeared in the spring/summer 2016 issue of Philadelphia Wedding

For more helpful Ask the Expert questions, go here.

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