Ask the Expert: Is It Inappropriate for the Mother of the Bride to Throw the Bridal Shower?



Question: My mother wants to throw my bridal shower. Is it inappropriate for her to host?

Answer: If left up to tradition, the answer would be yes. “Historically, the bridal shower was given to ‘shower’ the bride with gifts, so it was awkward for the mother of a bride to ask people for gifts for her daughter,” says Lynda Barness of I DO Wedding Consulting. Over time, however, “there has been a shift in sentiment, and as long as the engaged couple is not giving the shower for themselves, the short answer is that anyone else can.”

Barness notes that exactly who hosts the shower comes to down who is closest to the bride and who is able. In the past, the MOH, generally the bride’s best friend, typically gave the shower, but nowadays it’s often an aunt, relative, or another close friend. Who is able, Barness says, is a whole other story. “Geography (is the maid of honor hours away by plane?) and economics (that plane ride, or the cost of the party itself) definitely influence who may be in a position to give the shower.”

One last tidbit to consider: local customs. “In some parts of the US, it is absolutely customary that the mother not be involved in hosting, while in others, where the mother is both close and able, she can happily give the shower,” says Barness.

RELATED: Ask the Expert: Should I Send a Gift for a Bridal Shower I Can’t Attend? 

RELATED: Ask the Expert: Do I Have to Invite All My Female Wedding Guests to My Shower? 

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