The Best Thing That Happened This Week: Emotional Support Chickens for All!
Finally, a soothing critter you can bring on the plane.
You remember the emotional support peacock, right? (He was owned by an “artist” who documented his doings on social media.) And the emotional support llamas? The ones who got loose on an Arizona freeway? How about Pebbles, the emotional support hamster whose owner flushed her down an airline john? (“It was horrifying trying to put her in the toilet!”) Uh, and don’t mind my emotional support boa constrictor; she’s really, really laid-back. Vice headlined an article on emotional support pets “War on Millennials,” and yeah, we don’t care to sit next to your fucking emotional support mini pony for six hours on our flight to Seattle, kids. (Can you say “manure”?) Which is why we’re so gleeful at the news that the Popeyes in Philly International Airport—and ONLY the Popeyes in PHL—is now providing emotional support chickens to get travelers through the stressful holiday travel season. Um. You don’t pet them. You eat them. They’re very tenders! And check out that super-cute emotional support chicken box! Oh! Oh! Look at all the pretty snowflakes! Ho-ho-hope this news doesn’t further traumatize your freakish little selves.