Chris Christie Uses His Power of Belittling People to Save Lives

You didn’t think Chris Christie would just try to organize an evacuation of New Jersey’s most flood-prone areas during a dangerous storm, did you? Nope! The man’s gotta shtick to preserve, and the shtick is this: Be everybody’s worst stereotype of a tough New Jersey bruiser. Which means that when he urges residents of the state’s barrier islands to get off the islands, it’s not: “Get off the islands, please.” It’s: “This is not a time to be a show-off, this is not a time to be stupid.” Christie then flexed, Hulkamania-style, before leaving the press conference in a blaze of insults and recriminations, probably. He’s like a mean superhero. [AP]