Dear Shane Gillis: Please Stop Hosting SNL

Shane Gillis’s SNL monologue on October 10, 2026. / Photograph by Rosalind O’Connor/NBC

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This past Saturday, former Philly comedian Shane Gillis made his third attempt at hosting Saturday Night Live and, as with his previous attempts, it … wasn’t great. He flubbed his lines, couldn’t take his eyes off the cue cards, and mumbled out a monologue dotted with edgelord jokes that inspired lots of spirited pushback online.

Which makes us wonder: Why is it that the popular stand-up comic — the guy set a record for largest sold-out comedy gig when he played the Linc in July — is 0-for-3 at hosting the show that once tried to hire him? (And then swiftly unhired him. You remember that.)

Is it possible that he doesn’t give a shit?

Nah. Maybe he just doesn’t know the rules. SNL has acquired a bunch of unwritten rules over its 52 seasons, and we can’t expect Gillis to know them all. So here.

Rule #1: Don’t call women whores. Or say they dress like whores. Or use the word “whores” at all.

In the middle of a shaky monologue, our boy delivered this: “I haven’t been to the gym in so long. I didn’t know that women just dress like whores now. I’m sorry, there’s no other way to describe — have you seen it? I’ve seen it. The shorts? Have you seen the shorts? Those neon — they’re like artificial bait colors.”

Maybe some comics can say “whore,” under the right conditions. But for Shane Gillis it’s a nonstarter. His resting stage persona is somewhere between frat boy, Bugs Bunny, and a bouncer trying to memorize the address on your ID. Like he’s always on a boozy power trip. Like he says “whores” a lot. Opinions vary over how the “whore” line went over in the room, but the social media reaction has been a rousing thumbs-down.

Rule #2: Don’t namedrop. And: Don’t namedrop Joe Rogan and Theo Von.

Namedropping is an amateur-hour flex to begin with, but those particular names thudded extra heavy.* Rogan and Von repeatedly platform the worst humans in the world (fascists, billionaire creeps, Tony Hinchcliffe, etc.) If Shane thought a general audience was gonna say “woo” to those bros, he’s been in the Mothership humidor too long.

Rule #3: Don’t drop an F-bomb on live television. And: Don’t break the fourth wall.

Look, I don’t really care, because fuck the FCC, but you’re not supposed to do that. Cursing on SNL is a comedy crutch that steps on the writing and dings the rebroadcast with a moment of censorship. After accidentally deploying the F-bomb, Gillis laughed and smiled out at the audience. Doesn’t anybody care about the fourth wall anymore? It’s an important wall.

Rule #4: Try.

Make an effort. This is huge. You really oughta look like you give a shit about the thing you’ve supposedly been rehearsing for all week. Gillis’s cue-card gazing and distracted delivery added up to a performance worthy of a superstar athlete (derogatory). Up there with Nancy Kerrigan, Wayne Gretzky, Lance Armstrong, etc.

Rule #5: Don’t pull a Morgan Wallen.

We didn’t see this on the broadcast, but during the goodbye hugs and saxophone shrieks, Shane Gillis apparently left the stage by way of the center aisle. Perhaps it was an homage to country-pop dingus Morgan Wallen who did it last year. Perhaps the host was just lost. Meh. Just don’t do it. Exiting stage center is pissy.

Rule #6: It bears repeating.

Same as Rule #1. The “whores” thing. Don’t be like “that woman is in gym shorts, just like a whore.” That’s it.

* One wonders whether a previous iteration of the monologue included cameos by members of the cast in character as Rogan and Von. The namedrop was a truly out of character moment for SNL and I’m trying to make sense of it.