Real Talk: I’m a Wedding Planner. My Biggest Regret is Not Hiring One for My Own Wedding.

I knew about all the problems, which took the shine away from the day a bit.

Redfield Photography

Welcome to Real Talk Week at Philadelphia Wedding, where the pros behind the city’s most stylish weddings dish on how they handled getting hitched themselves. Up today: Sara Murray, owner and creative director of Confetti & Co., explains how she had a small wedding, but she still wishes she had hired a planner to help her with pulling it all off.

I should have known better … but I really thought that with a small wedding of 55, I’d be able to be a bride and a planner.

The beauty of having a planner … is that they deal with things before you even know there’s a problem. I knew about all the problems, which took the shine away from the day a bit.

I was the point person … so when the band wasn’t sure where to set up, they called me. When there was a gas leak at the venue, I had to be sure it was handled. When the tattoo artist ran out of gloves because everyone wanted to get tattoos, I directed him to the nearest CVS. All of this problem-solving put me in “planner” mode, and I felt like I never fully shifted to “bride” mode.

I thought my friends and family … would step up to cover the things my team usually does. I realized on the wedding day that no one really knows all the things we do! I had to continually give direction. I really thought all these things were common sense, but then I realized, nope — it comes from years of experience.

We bought out the venue … the day before, so we could fully take care of setup pre- wedding. It was good to have the day, but between setup and then breakdown, it would have been nice to hand it off to a team.

My parents wanted … to get everything cleaned up that night so we didn’t have to return the next day. It would have been huge to have a planner do what I usually do: Bye, guys, glad you had such a magical night, everything will be cleaned up and delivered to you tomorrow. There was just no one who had authority to put my family at ease. When you’re doing it yourself, the tasks at hand get clouded by interpersonal relationships, and there wasn’t an impartial party to clearly state: This is what’s happening. Period.

It was the biggest mistake of my wedding. Always hire a planner. Always, always, always.

As told to Sarah Zlotnick. 

This story was originally published as “I’m a Planner and I Should Have Hired a Planner” in the Winter/Spring 2019 issue of Philadelphia Wedding. To order your copy, click here

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