Having Trouble Compromising? Go Ahead and Have Two Weddings

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This past weekend, my fiancé and I sat next to a couple in PreCana who were actually already married. They had tied the knot in a destination wedding in New Orleans just two weeks ago—it wasn’t an elopement, or anything—and the second week of January, they are going to hold a ceremony in the Catholic church, and have a reception: their “home” wedding.

The thought of two weddings left my fiancé wide-eyed, but I didn’t even bat one. Couples holding two full-blown but separate weddings has definitely become a thing these days—a means employed to cover all the bases and make everyone happy when a difference of cultures, religions, geography or preferences simply can’t be combined into any one celebration that is logistically possible or personally satisfying to everyone involved. And we seem to hear more and more about this every day.

That’s why I read this story on Refinery 29 with interest: It was written by a bride who—well, was a bride twice!—and who also spoke to quite a few couples who had done the two-wedding thing about their reasons for holding two celebrations. The author and her now-husband threw themselves the intimate wedding they wanted with close family and friends in Brooklyn—and then celebrated again a few weeks later at a wedding thrown by her in-laws for their community of about 400-plus Persian Orthodox-Jewish friends and family on Long Island. Each couple she spoke to had also found themselves in a situation that could really only be resolved by throwing two different weddings—and everyone seemed to agree it was actually a great way to have gone about it.

So if you happen to find yourself with a similar set of circumstances and have already shoved the idea of two weddings out of your head as quickly as it came to you—don’t. If budget and time and tolerance allow for it, you might just end up getting the best of both worlds.

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