Study: Saying “Thank You” Is Really, Really Good for Your Marriage

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A new study from the University of Georgia has declared something that we really already know to be true—but that begs pointing out and repeating: When one feels appreciated in their marriage, that marriage tends to be a whole lot happier—even during harder times.

Researchers surveyed 468 married couples about everything from their finances to their communication and found that spousal expression of gratitude was the most consistent significant predictor of marital quality. And you know what? We totally believe it.

The thing is, the study found out, is that even when there is distress in the marriage—when communication isn’t great, when there have been arguments, when there’s financial stress—that gratitude can really disrupt the negative cycle and make a huge difference in how couples feel towards one another during the harder times; the feeling of gratitude in the marriage can actually help couples overcome those harder times. (Gratitude was measured for the study by the degree to which individuals felt appreciated by their spouse, valued by their spouse and acknowledged when they did something nice for their spouse.)

“Importantly, we found that when couples are engaging in a negative conflict pattern like demand/withdrawal, expressions of gratitude and appreciation can counteract or buffer the negative effects of this type of interaction on marital stability,” {study co-author Ted Futris, an associate professor in the College of Family and Consumer Sciences} said. … 

“All couples have disagreements and argue,” Futris said. “And, when couples are stressed, they are likely to have more arguments. What distinguishes the marriages that last from those that don’t is not how often they argue, but how they argue and how they treat each other on a daily basis.”

Reading this, we bet you can remember a time when something like a simple “thank you” from your partner totally softened you towards them, even if you had been pissed at them just moments before. Just goes to show that yet again, your mom was right, and you really do need to offer your thanks whenever it’s deserved, no matter what.

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