The Best Thing That Happened This Week: Gritty’s Big Queer Eye Makeover
That navel! Those eyebrows! How do you improve on perfection?
Oh, that we all had friends as devoted and loyal as the Phillie Phanatic, who recently, concerned about his good pal Gritty and hearing that the Queer Eye gang was coming to Philly, hurried to pen them a letter requesting their help. Not for himself, mind you, but for the Orange One. (Who better to understand the special challenges of being a mascot than … another mascot?) Noting from the dossier that Gritty wears the same outfit every day, the gang quickly stepped up to the challenge, addressing what didn’t need changing (those “majestic and perfect” brows) and what could use a makeover (that all-cheesesteak diet). There were compliments (“You’ve got a great ass!”) and compliments (“I did not know you had a green belly button. Isn’t that gorg?”) and more compliments (“I know that your most favorite person in the whole wide world is … you!”). The whole eight-minute “special episode” really manages to capture Gritty’s indomitable spirit, though we were a little surprised that (at 7:05) the show makes a gender error. Everybody knows that should be “Gritty or not, here it comes!” Whatever. We’ve never been prouder to share you, Gritty, with the world.