The Best Thing That Happened This Week

Actually, lots and lots of closures. It’s not that we’re all that happy with the plan Mayor Nutter finally revealed for dealing with the Popepocalypse. But damn, we are happy that there’s finally a plan. That’s really all we ever wanted, Your Honor, sir: to know what we’d be up against. Now that there’s a plan, we can plan, instead of just weeping and gnashing our teeth. Already the comments sections on stories about the Pope’s visit are mellowing out, with the rational “It’s only a few days and it’s good for the city” faction nudging out the hysterical “OMG WE’RE TOTALLY SCREWED HOW WILL I GET TO WORK/DELIVER MY BABY/VISIT DEAR SICK MA/FIND A COLD BEER” crowd. So, Route 1 and the Schuylkill and Vine Street expressways closed. I-95 open. Cars can get out of but can’t get into the traffic box. Bicyclists get free rein. (Ha, Stu!)

The funny thing is, all this fuss could have been avoided. Evolutionary biologists tell us man created God as a solution to our greatest existential fear: What happens after death? And look what that’s turned into. Humans just don’t deal well with uncertainty. So keep the information coming, Mayor Nutter. Even if you sometimes have to, well, make shit up.Follow @SandyHingston on Twitter.