Five Real Philly Housewives We Want to See on Bravo
The strangest thing about “Real Housewives” — after the fact that we watch it, we watch it so hard — is that the franchise never set up shop here since debuting in 2006. For a show that lives and dies by its batshit quotient, you’d think they would have made Philadelphia home years ago.
That, however, might be about to change: As the Daily News’ Jenice Armstrong reports, producer Princess Ann Banton-Lofters — creator of the series’ gold-standard Atlanta version — has been in town scouting, for lack of a better word, talent.
Presumably, Bravo is poking around the Main Line and Rittenhouse for their usual mix of old money, new money and hopefully-results-in-jail-time money.
But that would be a mistake.
Guys, this is the time to mix things up. When you’re in Philadelphia, there’s no need to go socialite shopping and force scripts around bottomless mimosas and Union League shuffleboard tournaments. Sit back and relax — these local ladies will happily take care of the drama-fueled ratings for you.
The Ice Girls
Even if the NHL is shamed into padding their paychecks a bit, the Flyer’s Ice Girls could use some Bravo cash. They reportedly earn around $50 per shift, a seven-hour stint that includes shoveling ice in front of Philadelphia sports fans while wearing little more than lingerie. Anyone who can pull this off with a smile belongs on TV — after a thorough medical evaluation.
The Queen Bees of the Philly publicity circuit are everything you could ask for of reality stars. They look amazing. They smell expensive. They know how to host a party that ends up in the gossip columns. And, most importantly, you get the sense that they’ve thrown a glass or two of champagne across the conference room table. Sold.
Isgro’s Counter Girls
Even better than the Italian Market bakery’s ricotta cookies are the delightfully terrifying counter girls. They grew up perfecting the patented South Philly eye-roll, and can somehow make “Hon” sound threatening. As soon as a fellow castmate hesitates when ordering dessert, tables are flipping.
Market East Post Office Employees
Because every “Real Housewives” cast needs a member who delights in the pain, frustration and desperation of her fellow humans. Welcome aboard, USPS – Brandi Glanville will be happy to show you the ropes.
A Public School Teacher
Insane contracts, manipulative bosses and chaotic work environments are the norm for Philadelphia’s public school teachers. Throw one in the cast and marvel as she whips everyone into shape while crowd-funding their King of Prussia outing.
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