New Englander Wearing Tom Brady Jersey Wins Wing Bowl

It was a sad day for the local crowd at today’s Wing Bowl. On the very day that El Wingador fell to cocaine charges, his successor Jon Squibb lost by a mere five wings-FIVE wings–to a New Englander nicknamed “The Bear” wearing a Tom Brady jersey. 287 t0 282 was the final score, though no one came close to Takeru Kobayashi’s record 337, set last year. Managing to throw two insults in one breath, “The Bear” said afterwards: “You know, this wasn’t necessarily as intimidating as I thought, but the final result was a lot closer than I thought it would be.” Maybe this will teach the Wing Bowl organizers not to open up the field to the entire country next time. [CBS 3]