If Chris Christie Loves Springsteen So Much, Why Doesn’t He Marry Him?

If New Jersey Governor Chris Christie loves Bruce Springsteen so much, why doesn’t he marry him? Well—according to a feature in the new issue of The Atlantic that focuses on the fanatical relationship between Christie and Springsteen’s music—it’s because he’s not gay, and lives in New Jersey.

Christie, in the presence of Springsteen—whom he would marry if he were gay and if gay people were allowed to marry in the state he governs—loses himself. He is, as is well known, a very large man—twice the width of Mitt Romney—but he is a very large man who dances at Springsteen concerts in front of many thousands of people without giving a damn what they think.

And maybe because The Boss is playing hard to get.

At concerts, even concerts in club-size venues—the Stone Pony, in Asbury Park, most recently—Springsteen won’t acknowledge the governor. When Christie leaves a Springsteen concert in a large arena, his state troopers move him to his motorcade through loading docks. He walks within feet of the stage, and of the dressing rooms. He’s never been invited to say hello. On occasion, he’ll make a public plea to Springsteen, as he did earlier this spring, when Christie asked him to play at a new casino in Atlantic City. “He says he’s for the revitalization of the Jersey Shore, so this seems obvious,” Christie told me. I asked him if he’s received a response to his request. “No, we got nothing back from them,” he said unhappily, “not even a ‘Fuck you.’”

Chris Christie goes on to have an imaginary conversation with Springsteen.

“Look,” Christie said to the imaginary Springsteen. “I’m attempting to level the playing field. We just disagree about how to level it. I think we level it by improving an urban education system that is dominated by union interests that are not working for the best interests of kids, but working in the interest of their next contract. You do it by bringing more private-sector business to the state.”

Thankfully, along with the feature, The Atlantic and Christie have given us a list of the guv’s 10 favorite Springsteen songs.

1. Thunder Road

2. Growin’ Up
3. Prove It All Night
4. The Rising
5. She’s the One
6. Kitty’s Back
7. Because The Night
8. Born to Run
9. Spirit in the Night
10. Out in the Street