Anti-Semitism Is Always in Style

Bad things happened to famous Jews last week

With Passover on the horizon, we couldn’t help but notice what a tough week it was for the Jews, media-wise.

Yes, we all know that Jews control the media. Still, the children of Abraham devoted a plethora of coverage last week to a series of anti-Semitic acts by high-profile celebrities.

Other ‘isms’ may come and go with the cultural tides, but anti-Semitism is never out of fashion. This time, maybe it’s because the magnetic pole is heading toward a reversal, which last happened 780,000 years ago, according to NASA.

Designer John Galliano, who dresses like a transvestite Nazi hooker, is caught on video ranting in a Paris cafe that he loves Hitler and the gas chambers. Dior-able Natalie Portman, an Israeli-born Jewess, says: “Him or me.” Dior chooses her.

Republican presidential wannabe Mike Huckabee, currently flogging his new book, disses Oscar-winner Portman for being pregnant and unmarried. Apparently, Huckabee is unaware that he is channeling Dan Quayle, circa 1992. Earth to Mike: Wake up and smell the pro-life moment.

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, an alleged sex criminal, accuses Private Eye, the UK’s most popular satirical magazine, of being part of a “Jewish conspiracy” that is out to malign his organization. (Conspiracy? One of Private Eye’s running sections is called “Commentatorballs.”)

Charlie Sheen, a headline writer’s wet dream, attacks his ex-boss at “Two and a Half Men,” Chuck Lorre (real name: Charles Levine), by calling him by his Hebrew handle, “Chaim Levine,” in one of his early lunatic diatribes. Sheen insists he is not anti-Semitic. Any similarity between ‘Sheen’ and ‘sheeny’ is purely coincidental, we’re certain.

One way or another, it’s always the Jews. Pay attention, people. It’s not paranoia if it’s really happening. And there’s nothing funny about that.