This Week in Comedy

Earthquake, Sean Conroy, Dreamgurlz and more.

John Waters performs his Christmas show at Union Transfer on Saturday. (Admire Entertainment)

Chlamydia Dell’arte @ Good Good Comedy Theatre | Thursday, December 7
Gigi Naglak and Meghann Williams host their “Sex-Ed (Holiday) Burlesque” show three nights in a row at Good Good. Expect something smutty and maybe a little educational. Mostly smutty, though.

Earthquake @ Punchline | Thursday-Saturday, December 7-9
The Philly appearance of this raucous D.C. standup comic was foretold by last week’s seismic event. For real: Earthquake’s the funniest guy in history to accidentally drop a nuclear weapon. I tried to find a clip of his that wasn’t dirty, but what’s the point? This one is NSFW in ways you’ll never see coming. You have been warned:

Hal Sparks @ Helium | Thursday-Saturday, December 7-9
The Talk Soup/Queer As Folk/Dude Where’s My Car? alum does standup. According to Wikipedia, Sparks 1) is a Freemason 2) has never had alcohol [citation needed] and 3) named his son Camden. I feel like we know him a lot better now.

The Roast of Your 15-Year-Old Self @ Good Good Comedy Theatre | Friday, December 8
Comedians talk about how awful they were when they were younger. Hosted by Alise Morales (of Betches). Performers include Pete Steele, Kyle Harris, Shannon Fahey, Michael Kelly and Max Barth.

Beth and Ralph’s Porn Stash @ PHIT | Friday, December 8
Beth Eisenberg and Ralph Andracchio present the holiday edition of their fan-favorite comedy show inspired by strange pornography they found online. This month, their panel includes Yemima Cohen, Eoin O’Shea, Brian Finnell and Sarah Bell.

Sean Conroy @ PHIT | Saturday, December 9
The comedian performs his standup show The World’s Smallest Giant. Conroy has performed on Conan and written for several shows including Key & Peele, Crossballs and Adult Swim’s Mr. Pickles.

John Waters Christmas @ Union Transfer | Saturday, December 9
The famous author and director of Hairspray, Serial Mom and Pink Flamingos performs his one-man show. Bring the kids for some wholesome holiday fun. JK.

Dreamgurlz @ Good Good Comedy Theatre | Saturday, December 9
Standup and storytelling by NYC comedians/BFFs Christi Chiello, Marie Faustin, Sydnee Washington and Molly Austin.

Hard, Lonely, & Vicious @ Helium | Sunday, December 10
Rae Sanni, Rojo Perez, the hilarious Dina Hashem, Shane Gillis, Lindsay Boling, Mara Marek and Mike Falzone participate in some kind of standup comedy drinking game. Peggy O’Leary hosts.