12 Things to Do this Week

Featuring fireworks, comedians, a six-ton hoagie and more. Mostly fireworks.

I think photos of fireworks without smoke don’t tell the whole story, you know? (Kevin Burkett @ Flickr)

Weeding Out the Stoned @ Good Good Comedy Theatre | Wednesday, June 28
Alex Grubard continues his “Game Show of Sobriety Tests” wherein he tries to find the not-stoned member of the 16-comedian panel.

Wawa Hoagie Day @ Independence Mall/National Constitution Center Lawn | Thursday, June 29
Look upon the majesty of a six-ton hoagie and weep for you have no more worlds to conquer. If you find you can go on, check out the full Wawa Welcome America schedule, because I can’t get to all of it here.

Free Museum Days @ Museums, Obviously | June 29-July 3
Wawa Welcome America hosts five days of free admission to local museums. Here’s the schedule:

  • June 29 — National Constitution Center, The Mummers Museum
  • June 30 — Eastern State Penitentiary, Penn Museum
  • July 1 — African American Museum, One Liberty Observation Deck (I know, not a museum)
  • July 2 — Barnes Foundation, Philadelphia Museum of Art (well they’re calling it “pay what you wish”)
  • July 3 — National Liberty Museum, The Charles L. Blockson Afro-American Collection at Temple University
  • July 4 — National Jewish Museum, Philadelphia History Museum

There are also a couple $1 admission deals:

  • July 1 — The Powell House
  • July 2 — The Hill-Physick House

Arnez J @ Helium | June 29-July 2
The former host of BET’s ComicView and star of the comedy special Racially Motivated (now on Netflix) does standup Thursday through Sunday. In this heartwarming clip he defends the beating of children.

Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me @ Mann Center | Thursday, June 29
The popular NPR news/comedy quiz show comes to town with host Peter Sagal and, for some reason, Flyers legend Bernie Parent.

Wine & Chocolate Night with Janet Benton and Liz Moore @ Open Book Bookstore | Thursday, June 29
The Elkins Park bookstore hosts readings and signings by the authors of Lilli de Jong and The Unseen World, respectively.

Theatre Exile’s Wrecking Ball @ Studio X | Friday, June 30
Theatre Exile’s home is getting torn down so they’re throwing a dance party with food, cocktails, a raffle and more.

Comedy Benefit for Philabundance @ Johnny Brenda’s | Friday, June 30
Doogie Horner host an evening of comedy by Brandon Vincent Jackson, Mekki Leeper, Steve Gerben, Michelle Biloon and Jim Tews to benefit the non-profit food bank Philabundance.

Philadelphia Orchestra & Fireworks @ Penn’s Landing | Friday, June 30
Led by fiery frontman Yannick Nezet-Seguin, the city’s most beloved cover band hosts a jam down by the river, followed by fireworks in the sky.

Boast Rattle @ Good Good Comedy Theatre | Saturday, July 1
Kyle Ayers hosts as comedians go head-to-head trying to out-compliment each other to see who will be crowned Champion of Charity, Master of Magnanimity. The evening’s contestants include Michael S. Watkins, Cassandra Dee, Charles Blyzniuk, Kyle Harris, Kelsey Caine and Jack Comstock.

Jerry Blavat & Fireworks @ Penn’s Landing | Saturday, July 1
The Geater with the Heater hosts a fireworks display “choreographed to a soundtrack of our favorite artists from the tri-state area, including American Bandstand, Bon Jovi, the Jonas Brother, Boyz II Men and Patti LaBelle.”

Fireworks @ The Parkway/Wiggins Park | Tuesday, July 4
Because your dogs are getting too comfortable, there will be two gigantic fireworks displays this year. There’s the Wawa Welcome America one with the Mary J. Blige pre-show on the Parkway, and then there’s The Freedom Festival Fireworks at Wiggins Park in Camden that’ll be easily visible from Penn’s Landing since they’re shooting them off over the Delaware River.