Backing Tracks, Epic Fails, and Kool & the Gang Were at Last Night’s Van Halen Show In Philadelphia

Loyal readers will remember my journey to New York back in January to see Van Halen play for 250 people at Cafe Wha? in Greenwich Village. Last night, I went to the Wells Fargo Center, where 20,000 fans had packed in, to see if the big version of the show was any better. I intended to tweet-review the entire show. Unfortunately, I forgot to charge my cell phone. So here are the 140-character or less tweets I would have sent if I wasn’t so friggin’ irresponsible.

@KoolntheGngLIVE is the most brilliant opening act idea ever. Precisely what an opener should be. Exciting, energetic, and totally fun.

Pete from @ChickiesnPetes is dancing in the aisles to 11-piece @KoolntheGngLIVE playing “Celebration”. #crabfries

The only good part of “Celebration” is the bridge: “It’s time to come together…”

Pierre Robert from @933WMMR just checked in. Says @VedgeRestaurant is awesome. #meatkills

25% of the men over 40 at this show look like @theAdrianBelew.

The women? @LitaFord.

The giant “Comcast Country” sign looming overhead makes me wonder if I’ve paid my cable bill.

I have seen the gong, and it is good. @AlexVanHalen

Wow. All the people in the smoking pen outside look REALLY unhealthy. Glad I quit.

More people are smoking weed at Van Halen than any show I’ve ever been to. Seriously. #contacthigh

@WellsFargoCtr is only place where a big Absolut Ruby + tonic is $8.50 while a pint of Budweiser is $9. Stick with liquor.

These ladies who got free tickets through @VerizonWireless are really wasted. Stick with water.

OMG it is loud in here. Why didn’t I bring earplugs? #tinnitus

Couple in front of me frantically searching for something. Wedding ring? iPhone? #nojustajoint

@DavidLeeRoth is really a buffoon. But I guess that’s why this works. Or maybe it doesn’t…

Wait a second. Does @AlexVanHalen ever actually hit the gong?

Wonder if there are any @PeanutChews backstage. @DavidLeeRoth needs to graduate from M&Ms.

I am REALLY glad I had that chicken fried steak from @TapHousePhilly before the show.

Okay, new songs. Time to pee and get a drink, if I can only get out of these seats. #excuseme

5 people in front of me in bar line. Literally standing here for 8 minutes.

Why can’t I leave a tip on my credit card @WellsFargoCtr? Paging @CouncilmanJimKenney.

Seriously, why is it so loud in here? Do they sell earplugs @WellsFargoCtr?

The hi-def visuals are making me think: When will there be a @PinkFloyd 3D tour, glasses and all? #billion$ideas

I’m sure one day I’ll think it a good idea to have my son play in my rock band. When that day comes, shoot me. @EddieVanHalen

@AlexVanHalen is never going to hit that gong, is he?

My friend and I agree that we’re in danger of damaging our hearing. Thinking of leaving. Paging @KlineSpecter. #lawsuits

Hold on, “I’ll Wait” is one of my favorite @VanHalen songs. I’m a synthesizer geek. One more.

I hear the keyboard but don’t see it. Don’t tell me they are using backing tracks on “I’ll Wait”. Noooooo….

Not only are they using a synth backing track, but @AlexVanHalen is seriously out of time with it. #epicfail

Nice. The security guard is letting us take our drinks outside with us as we make our exit. Rock and roll!

Did I miss @PawnStars?