6 Hilarious Tales of Lost & (Sometimes) Found Wedding Rings from Local Newlyweds
You’re about to be wearing a bit more jewelry than you’re used to, and that brand-new symbol of eternity on your finger might manage to wiggle away from you someday. Read these tales of caution to glean their lessons—or at least know that you’re not alone.
We lost four rings in the first two years of our marriage. My husband first lost his band at IKEA; it somehow slipped off when he was removing boxes from the shelf. Four months later at a hotel in New York City, I placed my engagement and wedding rings—soldered together—on the bathroom sink as I showered, during which time my husband managed to knock them into the toilet while simultaneously flushing. One year later, he lost his replacement ring in his work bathroom. Four years later, our priest still asks us when we’re getting married. We are happily married with a beautiful daughter and are looking into tattoos.
I set my ring on top of my golf cart while putting on sunscreen—then forgot about it, and it fell off the cart at some point during the day. I called the course after the round, and although they hadn’t found it, they said it would probably turn up. I waited a few months, then gave up and ordered a new one. The day after I could have returned the new ring, the golf course called. So now I have two.
I have this unfortunate habit of taking off my rings more than I keep them on: I don’t sleep in them, I don’t work out in them, I take them off when I wash my hands. One day at work, I washed my hands in the bathroom and headed back to my desk. Hours later, I realized—Crap, my ring wasn’t on my finger. I raced around like a crazy person trying to find it. It wasn’t anywhere, and I swore up and down I’d taken it off when I washed my hands. My husband, who happened to work at the same company, was in a very important meeting, but I just couldn’t help myself; I busted into the meeting and practically bellowed, “I THINK I LOST MY RING IN THE BATHROOM!” Everyone turned and looked. He very calmly replied, “No, it’s on your dresser at home.” He was right. I sheepishly backed out of the room.
I let my three-year-old play with my ring during a church service in which my husband was being baptized, and his towel was at our feet. The ring dropped, and although we looked everywhere, it was gone! Poof. Vanished. Weeks later during a Bible-study gathering, I realized we were in the same room and felt the urge to look around. Lo and behold, the ring was on the floor in a corner of the room, right behind a fake plant. It must have traveled on his towel all the way across the church.
The day after our destination wedding in Jamaica, we went snorkeling with some other wedding guests. The guides told us we could put our valuables up front, but since we had barely been married 24 hours, I didn’t want to take my ring off. As I jumped into the water, between the force of that and my sunscreen, I could actually feel my brand-new wedding band slide off my finger. It fell to the bottom about 40 feet below the surface. Our guides tried their best to find it but had no luck.
I was in the shower, and my sons Cade, who’s three, and Emerson, two, were quiet, which I assumed meant they were being good and playing nicely, and I thought about how lovely it was that they were at the stage where they could play together. When I got out of the shower, though, they both came running into the bathroom to show me how they were playing “pirates” and had “buried treasure.” I looked down to see my anniversary band in Cade’s hand and my wedding band in Emerson’s. I panicked and ran to check my nightstand for my engagement ring, asking Cade if he had seen another one. He said, “Yes, I had two and Emerson had one!” I asked him where the other one was. He didn’t know. When we searched for it and it didn’t turn up, he said, “Well, I guess it’s hidden treasure now, Mom!” We still haven’t found it.
This article originally appeared in the spring/summer 2016 issue of Philadelphia Wedding.
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