ASK THE EXPERT: Do I Have to Decide Which Guests Can Bring Dates Before Sending Save-the-Dates?

ASK THE EXPERT: Do I Have to Decide Which Guests Can Bring Guests Before Sending Save-the-Dates?


Q: Do I have to decide by the time I send out my save-the-dates who gets a date and who doesn’t, so that the save-the-date can be addressed to reflect that? Or can I just send them out to the people I want to save the date and then later on, their actual invitations will reflect whether or not they get a date?

A: By the time you have your date chosen and venue booked and are ready to ask your would-be guests to circle your Big Day on their calendar, you should have a good idea about who will be on the guest list, says wedding planner Wendy Hartigan of Philadelphia’s Bridal Affairs. “So, yes, you should have decided who of your guests will be invited with a date.” (Generally, anyone with a spouse, a fiance, or a serious significant other should be welcomed with a date, she says.) Plus, making this particular issue clear this early on means there won’t be any surprises once the invites go out much closer to the wedding. “This way there is no confusion, drama or hurt feelings later.”

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