Are Philly Police Hiding Hundreds of Murdered Bodies Somewhere?

Where did the murder victim go? Conspiracy theorists believe Philadelphia police are hiding bodies somewhere. (Getty Images)

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Are Philly Police Hiding Hundreds of Murdered Bodies Somewhere?

It never fails. Never. Every time I write about the homicide numbers being down drastically in Philadelphia – and not just down from their insane 2021 and 2022 highs but down to levels we haven’t seen since the 1960s – numerous readers comment or email me to tell me the numbers are fake. It happened again after I published this story last week documenting the plummeting drop in Philadelphia homicides, a story based on police data.

Someone named (or at least calling themselves) Rita Chat-Klein on Facebook commented on that story last week, writing, “I don’t believe any of this.” I replied asking her why she doesn’t believe any of this. Days later, she still hasn’t responded. A friend suggested to me that she is a bot. Maybe. Who’s to know?

Then this morning, I received a very long and well-written email from reader David Vone, who told me that he grew up in West Philly and that he’s now a retired 56-year-old millionaire. Naturally, this being 2025, he called me an imbecile and a moron. And he told me that downgrading crimes to make Democratic-run cities look better than they are is straight out of the George Soros playbook. “Trump sending troops to cities is probably the greatest presidential idea in over 200 years,” he added. These people do love their superlatives. Forget the New Deal. Forget the Civil Rights Act. The, I dunno, abolition of slavery, perhaps? I could go on. But no, Trump having American troops invade their own cities is the greatest idea in over 200 years to come out of the White House.

Recently, another reader reached out and said that Philly is fudging the numbers just like Washington D.C. police have been doing. I’m assuming he was referring to the one police commander who is under suspicion for manipulating certain numbers in one district. As a result of those accusations, that commander has filed an complaint with the EEOC.

I get that “juking the stats,” as it’s called, is real, in some cases. Not just in police departments, but also in business, education, and all sorts of other aspects of life. You can, say, charge a robbery as a simple assault, and that’s one less robbery you have in your district. Carjacking? Meh, we’ll call that car theft. Sounds a lot better, right?

But here’s the thing: Murder is murder. There either is a dead body or there isn’t. And murder victims have friends, family members, business associates who might notice they aren’t around anymore. So unless Philly police are calling hundreds of murders suicides or accidental deaths or drug overdoses – and there’s no evidence on the table that shows they are doing that – well, there’s only one other option: Philly police must be hiding all those dead bodies somewhere, right? Sort of like the Challenger never blowing up, the Sandy Hook shooting being an event staged to get rid of the 2nd Amendment, and the 2020 election being stolen.

Then again, maybe these conspiracy theorists are right about the murder thing. Maybe police really are hiding the bodies in some secret refrigerated location. If anybody knows where, please do let me know. It’s about time I win a Pulitzer.

About That “Phillies Karen” Situation

I’ll be perfectly happy when social media stops going crazy about the “Phillies Karen” who had a bit of a fit on Friday when a dad tried to snag a home-run ball that she thought was rightfully hers. I mean, it’s not like she pooped on a car or anything. (Speaking of the Delco Pooper, I reached out to her on Monday night to get her thoughts on the woman at the center of the baseball firestorm, asking if she would have taken the ball from the kid. “Absolutely not…” she replied. “I’m far from a miserable bitch, honestly.”) In any event, the whole thing has become so big that Snopes had to weigh in with some fact checking.

Governor Shapiro Blames Trump for Lack of Tourism

There’s been a drop in tourists visiting Philadelphia which, of course, isn’t good for anyone. It’s especially bad considering that we’re hosting a boatload of activities next year for the semiquincentennial, including the FIFA World Cup. On Monday at an event in West Philadelphia, Governor Shapiro squarely put the blame for this tourism problem on Donald Trump. “I think because of the Trump administration’s conduct on immigration, we’ve already seen tourism dip, not just in Philadelphia, but all across this country,” he opined. “I think their policies are making it so people in other countries are afraid to come here or don’t want to come here.” Read more of Shapiro’s remarks here.

By the Numbers

25: New fast-casual restaurants that Jose Garces says he plans to open in the next five years. Apparently he’s been seeing everybody talk about Stephen Starr this and Stephen Starr that and realized he’s been slacking. (In case you have deep pockets, Garces is looking for $2 million from investors to get the ball rolling.)

$130 million: Amount the non-profit Cobbs Creek Foundation has raised thus far to bring the once great Golf Creek Golf Club back to greatness. It’s currently undergoing a massive renovation, and Tiger Woods showed up on Monday to christen a new learning lab for kids.

$25: Fine that police will starting handing out in Haverford to anybody under the age of 16 not wearing a helmet while driving an electric scooter or e-bike, thanks to a new ordinance.

Local Talent

Now that Overbrook High grad and noted slapper Will Smith has (hopefully) gotten the “rapper comeback” thing out of his system, he and his production company Westbrook have inked a multi-film deal with Paramount Pictures for “four-quadrant” movies. What the heck does four-quadrant mean? Good question. First time I’d heard the term as well. Basically, it means crowd-pleasing movies that everybody will like, the four quadrants being men over 25, men under 25, women over 25, and women under 25. Now you know. Deadline has more details.

In other Will Smith news, NBC just announced that the fourth and final season of Bel-Air will premiere on Peacock in November. I actually enjoyed the first season but then completely forgot about it. Not sure I want to binge two seasons to catch myself up.