The Best Thing That Happened This Week: New England Admits Who the Real GOAT Is

Hint: He's not married to Giselle.

In what was already Not A Great Week for Patriots quarterback Tom Brady—he was mercilessly mocked for the getup he wore to Monday night’s Met Gala, and a (paywalled) piece in the Atlantic revealed that just last year, the Mariners’ Ichiro Suzuki, one of the greatest baseball players of all time, was asking people, “Who the fuck is Tom Brady?”—we’re only too happy to pile on by reporting that Zoo New England finally paid off the debt it’s owed us ever since the Super Bowl. Meet Foles, the zoo’s newest Nigerian dwarf, um, GOAT, named for the Eagles quarterback due to a cross-zoo bet with Philly’s own animal house. Man, he’s cute, isn’t he? You be careful out among them English, lil’ dude. And if Tom brings the kids by, you know which hand to bite.