How Old Does Microsoft Think These 15 Philly Drag Queens Are?

Microsoft has created the website equivalent to one of those carnival attractions that claims to be able to guess your age and weight. “How Old Do I Look” uses “state-of-the-art, cloud-based algorithms” to decipher human faces, guess their age, and taunt the gay community for eternity.

Gay Star News gave it a test run (and veered into dangerous territory) using photos of 18 gay icons. The results were a little off-base. The site guessed Christina Aguilera was 48 (14 years older than what it guessed for Cher!), Ellen was 64 (even with all that Cover Girl!?) and Madonna was 27 (it must have confused her with her boyfriends.)

I wanted to tinker with it, too, and I thought “What better way than to use Philly drag queens?!” That couldn’t get me into any trouble at all, right? It’s all fun and games, people, and Microsoft even admits that they’re still working to improve the feature. So without further adieu, Microsoft attempts to guess the ages of some of our most popular drag queens:

Microsoft guessed Brittany Lynn as 38. One of her most outgoing sequins just turned 14, apparently.

Martha Graham Cracker, 46

Bev, 36

Ariel Versace, 17; special guest BibleGirl666, 30

Pissi Myles (top), 40; Mimi Imfurst, a fresh-faced 20

Microsoft didn't quite know how to figure out Pretty Girl's face.

Omyra Lynn, 36; The Goddess Isis 37; and Navaya Shay, 46.

Satine Harlow, 28

Maddy Milan, 31

Me (because it's only fair I do myself, too), 32; Tammy Faymous, 31

Lovebirds Lily St. Queer, 33; Mistor Fahrenheit, 27

Try it out for yourself here.