A Frame-By-Frame Analysis of the Geico Philly Cheesesteak Commercial

Spoiler alert: I'm pretty sure the Geico gecko is dead.

Did you watch the Super Bowl Sunday? Of course you did, it’s the Super Bowl, and even football-hating heathens tune in. While we didn’t get the Bucks County-born defense lawyer’s amazing two-minute spot here in Philadelphia, we did get a ridiculous local ad of our own: The Geico gecko at the Cheesesteak nexus!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QU2LH3m_t0

Foobooz covered this yesterday, but I figured I’d take a closer look at today at the two-minute spot.

It opens with the gecko in front of Pat’s.

But where the hell is he standing? If we pretend the Geico gecko is a real spokesperson like Flo from Progressive or Gus, the Second-Most Famous Groundhog in Pennsylvania and not a computer-generated character, we can use Google Streetview to map this out easily.

As is easily discernible from this screenshot, the Geico gecko is almost in the middle of the street. He’s probably at the corner — you can see a car coming in over his right shoulder — but there’s a reason there aren’t any real tables at this corner: It’s way to close to the road to sit with Philadelphia drivers nearby.

Now that I think about it, this is most certainly the second shot done, chronologically. A South Philly driver almost certainly ran over the gecko with a car immediately following this shot.

No matter how you feel about the the two cheesesteak joints at Ninth and Passyunk, this is a terrifying sight for any Philadelphian: Pat’s literally morphing into Geno’s. (Plus, look, the gecko looks over his shoulder right at the end of the Pat’s shot — he’s certainly about to be run over there. It’s a nice Paul is dead-style sly reference to the gecko’s untimely death.)

So, now the Geico gecko is out front of Geno’s.

Yep, same spot on that corner (and maybe spilling out into the street). No tables there in real life, of course, but it’s not a bad spot to fake you’re at both Pat’s and Geno’s. Note: When you stand at that corner, you are at literally the least healthful spot in the entire city of Philadelphia.

Then the Geico gecko causes a scene with his stupid car insurance-promoting dance. He’s causing people to run into the street without looking! Eh, I guess that’s not much different than usual in Philadelphia.

Anyway, R.I.P., Geico gecko, you probably got hit by that car, have fun in spokes-heaven with Mr. Whipple and Ernest.

Follow @dhm on Twitter.