John Bolaris Writes Un-Ironic Column Attacking Bad Role Models

Every time John Bolaris decides to poke his skull-capped head into the pages of the Metro, it’s a special little treat. Well today’s treat has proven extra sweet. In it, for no apparent reason, Bolaris grinds his axe against Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian for their immature and irresponsible behavior.

Wow, such a good role model for the kids. You too could make a porn tape, make millions and eventually get a fake butt perfectly designed to your derriere.If Kim had all the talent in the world, made a tape, but was fat and ugly, her name would have never surfaced. This is the lopsided so-called equality in our country. We are brainwashed people.

It’s not just Kim’s fault, though!

I’m talking about the media. We want trash, juicy gossip, bad boys, bad girls, train wrecks, sexual exploits, celebrity break-ups, celebrity melt downs, celebrities pants down, crotch shots, drunken shots, screaming shots and the almighty celebrity sex tape…

Come to think of it, sounds like he’s delivering a subtle little jab at all the media coverage generated by his own roofie-fueled, babe-filled train wreck in Miami. If he’s aware enough to see the link between media coverage of LiLo’s meltdown and his own, you’d think he’d see the connection between Lohan and himself… Anyways, there you have it, folks: John Bolaris is wagging his finger at “bad role models.”