Philly Mob Underboss Goes on Epic Rant After Being Sentenced to 16 Years in Jail

Joseph “Mousie” Massimino, reputed “underboss” of the Philly mafia, and second-in-command to Joseph “Uncle Joe” Ligambi, was sentenced to 16 years in prison today. Before the judge had his say, Mousie had his, in what sounds like a rant for the ages.

  • “I’m no boss of nothing, ya know what I mean?”
  • He argued that if the government had devoted as much time and resources to disrupting al Qaeda as it did to the mob, “the World Trade Center would still be there and maybe those poor people in Boston would still have their legs and arms.”
  • He also questioned sentencing guidelines that sometimes add up to 100 years. “Those laws are for trees,” Massimino said, his arms outstretched, his palms up in supplication. “Trees live a hundred years.”
  • Finally, he relented. “What it is, it is, judge,” he said. “I’ll go with whatever you say.”

Ligambi himself, along with other mob poobahs on trial recently, have avoided conviction thus far. Mousie, meanwhile, will go sleep with the trees. [Inquirer]