Guess the Presidential Celebrity Endorsement

A recent Wall Street Journal blog post headlined “Romney Gets Boost From Celebrities” caught my attention, because hey, who doesn’t love celebrities? And who isn’t curious what boldface names besides, memorably and regrettably, Clint Eastwood are coming out (though that’s a phrase that no doubt makes them profoundly uncomfortable) in favor of Mitt? C’mon—you want to know, don’t you? Well, here’s who the WSJ says is busy stumping in Ohio, graciously lending their glitz and glamour to the Grand Old Party.

Jack Nicklaus. Jo Dee Messina. And Mike Rowe.

Jack Nicklaus used to be a pro golfer; his last PGA championship was in 1980. Nobody under the age of 30 knows who he is. In Ohio, Mitt called him “the greatest athlete of the 20th century.” Okay. Jo Dee Messina is a country singer who shills for WD-40 and was on The Real Housewives of Atlanta this past season. I had no idea who Mike Rowe was, so I googled him. He’s the annoying guy in those Ford commercials. He’s also been in commercials for Lee jeans and Viva paper towels. Oh, and in a reality TV show called Dirty Jobs. He actually seems like a pretty chill guy. But he wasn’t in Ohio to endorse Mitt, it turns out; he’d just promised to vote for him this one time if Mitt would help his efforts to start a “national conversation” about vocational education. So … lukewarm.

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t cross the street to see Jack Nicklaus or Jo Dee Messina or Mike Rowe. Which got me thinking: What other red-carpet types have come out in favor of Mitt? Here’s a face-off of the famous who’ve pledged support and/or money to one candidate or the other. See if you can tell which is which—and which party’s party you’d sooner attend.

Donnie and Marie Osmond vs. Beyoncé and Jay-Z

Donald Trump vs. Stephen Spielberg

Sylvester Stallone vs. Morgan Freeman

Kid Rock vs. Chris Rock

Robin Leach vs. Mick Jagger

Janine Turner vs. Sarah Jessica Parker

Scott Baio vs. Alec Baldwin

Shannen Doherty vs. Chelsea Handler

Brad Pitt’s mom vs. Oprah

Kirk Cameron vs. Deepak Chopra

Trace Adkins vs. Katy Perry

Johnny Van Zant vs. Bette Midler

Ted Nugent vs. Jon Bon Jovi

Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell vs. Will and Jada Smith

Cindy Crawford vs. Mariska Hargitay

Kelsey Grammer vs. Bill Maher

Chuck Norris vs. Spike Lee

Adam Sandler vs. George Clooney

Jon Voight vs. the entire cast of The Wire

In every case, the right is on the left, and the left is on the right. And just in case you were wondering, Mitt’s favorite musicians are Toby Keith and Kenny Chesney. Now, where’s my red Solo cup?