Live Blogging: The Oscars

The best, worst and gayest moments

Tonight, we’re ready for the 84th Annual Academy Awards with a live blog, Twitter feed (@G_Philly) and a few Facebook posts (have you liked us yet?). We start the coverage on the red carpet (better get our fashion know-how ready) followed by the awards show hosted by Billy Crystal.

Please share your thoughts, observations and opinions about what the celebs are wearing and who’s winning (or not). Your comments may play a starring role!

[6 p.m.] Milla Jovovich arrives on the red carpet. She’s presenting tonight. Meow.

[6:10] The buzz is about the Bridesmaids. Does anyone think Melissa McCarthy has a chance to win? Ellie Kemper talks about being nervous about kissing another woman (played by Wendi McLendon-Covey) in the film. Really? That was more nerve-wracking than playing that famous “bathroom emergency” scene?

[6:19] Spotted: Nominee Christopher Plummer who plays a gay dad in Beginners.

[6:22] As seen on Twitter (@EVLD): “Pretty soon, all awards shows will be off TV and only be broadcast by angry drunk people on Twitter.”

[6:27] As seen on Twitter (@AaronMettey): “Why the HELL is Jane Seymour at the Oscars?” Good question, Aaron. But is she wearing one of those awful “Open Hearts” pendants from Kay Jewelers? (You can check out Aaron’s predictions about tonight’s winners on The Philly Post.)

[6:33] George Clooney: Is he the modern-day Cary Grant?

[6:37] Kelly Osbourne has purple hair. Two points for being Kelly Osbourne. And five extra points for scaring the bejesus out of the stylists.

[6:42] There’s a bit of a controversy tonight about African-American actresses being nominated for playing maids in The Help. Is it a fair criticism? Or should it really be about playing solid roles no matter what the color? It reminds us of the argument about straight actors being nominated for playing gay (while gay actors are often left out). We may see that discussion rehashed tonight if Christopher Plummer takes home a little gold man.

[6:51] So many low-cut dresses, ladies. Anyone else anticipating a “wardrobe malfunction?”

[6:52] A follower on Facebook just wrote to us (about the Bridesmaids kiss): “That was just a peck…GEEZ. I loved Bridesmaids. Would love to see Melissa McCarthy win. She was awesome.”

[6:53] Ryan Seacrest just called coral a “fruit” (he’s talking to Michelle Williams). But the best part (next to seeing Michelle’s adorable pixie cut) was hearing him say the word FRUIT.

[6:57] As seen on Twitter (@AaronMettey): “Seeing Charlize Theron in the Dior ad makes me angry that Young Adult didn’t get more attention. Great movie and brilliant performance.” Anyone else think this flick deserved an Oscar nod?

[7:00] Spotted: Nominee Glenn Close who does some serious gender bending in Albert Nobbs.

[7:02] Spotted: Nominee Jonah Hill, the man behind the most bizarre TV show with two gay dads we’ve seen in a long time – Allen Gregory. Yep, it was canceled. It didn’t win any friends at GLAAD either.

[7:05] As seen on Twitter (@LisaLampanelli): “Jess Cagle looks like he does Kegel exercises with his mouth.” Oh my.

[7:06] Hold the presses! Are Busy Phillips and Michelle Williams at the Oscars together? Because we were kinda hoping for that ever since Dawson’s Creek.

[7:10] As seen on Twitter (@KellyOsbourne): “Does anyone know why there is a nun at the Oscars?”

[7:13] It’s always startling when someone’s dress matches her body, Kristen Wiig.

[7:16] Sacha Baron Cohen arrives. Who’s in the urn? Kim Jong-il! And now it’s on Ryan Seacrest. Hilarious!

[7:24] Ryan Seacrest is “a victim of comedy,” says Tina Fey.

[7:31] Our take on Rooney Mara: She doesn’t realize that they stopped shooting The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

[7:41] As seen on Twitter (@RobertVerdi): “Big buns are back (and I ain’t talkin’ booties).” Pretty sure he’s referring to hairstyles tonight.

[7:46] We switched over to Tim Gunn. Everyone on E! was gushing about, well, everyone. We have more hope for Tim – even if the man hasn’t had sex in decades and won’t stop talking about it.

[7:51] JLo, we love you and your bootie. You are a glamazon.

[7:57] Less than 30 minutes until kick-off, so to speak. Gee, do you suppose Billy Crystal will sing a little song and do a little dance? We feel like we’re in high school again.

[8:03] As seen on Twitter (@JoyVBehar): “Penelope Cruz is very Mad Men-esque.”

[8:04]: Gwyneth Paltrow is wearing a cape. A cape.

[8:06] Philly guy Bradley Cooper in a mad sexy ‘stache. Meow number two of the evening.

[8:17] As seen on Twitter (@KevinGattoStyle): “My husband Bradley Cooper is SMOKING HOT TONIGHT.”

[8:19] After watching two network’s of red carpet coverage, gotta say, we miss Joan Rivers!

[8:31] As seen on Facebook: “Morgan, you are 80, I think it’s time to bag the earrings.”

[8:33] Billy Crystal is talking to a lesbian. Oh wait, that’s just Justin Bieber.

[8:38] As seen on Twitter (@errica): “I am overall indifferent about Billy Crystal. But I support his tailcoat.”

[8:39] What does it take to impress Martin Scorsese’s daughter? Apparently not this lame song and dance. Oh, Billy.

[8:41] As seen on Twitter (@VictorFiorillo): “Billy Crystal is already awful.” We gotta agree, Victor.

[8:44] Bathroom break? The most boring categories are starting out the show. Important  stuff, but we’re shallow.

[8:46] Hugo wins for Art Direction. But we almost missed it because one of our friends is reading Billy Crystal’s tweets aloud – as Billy Crystal.

[8:47] Sheila E!

[8:52] What a random smattering of heterosexual love stories (and we’re referring to Jaws). Do they show the same clips every year?

[8:54] Pretty sure JLo’s nip is showing.

[8:56] The Artist wins one for Costume Design.

[8:58] The Iron Lady wins for Makeup Design. One of our friends asks, “Did she really need that much?”

[9:01] Moneyball sounds like a gay porn movie.

[9:06] As seen on Twitter (@KathyGriffin): “I can’t hepp [sic] it, the world stops spinning whenever I see Streisand…”

[9:07] Wonder how long Sandra Bullock had to practice to say these titles? And the Oscar goes to A Separation from Iran for Best Foreign Film.

[9:09] Christian Bale. Third meow of the night.

[9:12] Octavia Spencer wins for The Help. Way to go!

[9:20] One of the funniest points in the show – a spoof of The Wizard of Oz focus group – until that last line about the monkeys. We cringed. Couldn’t they have made a better joke about Friends of Dorothy?

[9:25] Film Editing goes to The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo with one of the most memorable bisexual characters in years.

[9:26] Hugo wins for Sound Editing.

[9:28] Hugo wins for Sound Mixing. When we first heard about Hugo, we were hoping it was a biopic about Halston’s one-time lover Victor Hugo. Oh well. Maybe next time.

[9:31] As seen on Twitter @BravoAndy): “Love Tina’s high bun!”

[9:32] What did you think of Ellen’s I Love Lucy spoof for J.C. Penney?

[9:34] As seen on Twitter (@CheyenneJackson): “Jennifer Coolidge = perfection.” Anyone remember when she visited Philly for Gay Pride?

[9:35] Miss Piggy, you will always be one of our favorite drag queens.

[9:41] Was anyone else a little worried when Robert Downey, Jr. didn’t immediately walk out on stage? He had us when he played gay in Home for the Holidays.

[9:42] The Best Documentary Oscar goes to Undefeated.

[9:45] Are earrings on men back in style? In both ears? We’re looking at you, Chris Rock.

[9:47] Rango wins for Animated Feature Film.

[9:49] Does it seem like there are more awards than ever – and less entertainment than ever?

[9:51] As seen on Twitter (@BetteMidler): “I worship Chris Rock. Period.” We wish he was the host!

[9:54] Our friend Robert “Sandy” Beach has some insights on Facebook: “Even Cirque seemed a little lack luster, maybe cause they hyped it so much…actually the Diet Coke commercial was more refreshing.”

[9:56] Hugo wins another one for special effects. Our friend Meg Rider says, “Hugo is like the Adele of the Oscars.”

[10:00] Christopher Plummer wins for Best Supporting Actor for playing a gay dad in Beginners. Mike Mills made the film after his own father came out.

[10:09] As seen on Twitter (@SandraBernhard): “lightly broiled nick nolte (sic)”

[10:15] The Artist wins for Original Score.

[10:18] “Man or Muppet” from the Muppet Movie wins for Original Song.

[10:23] As seen on Twitter (@AlecMapa): “These lesbian time travel skits are really gonna save JC Penney!”

[10:24] A gaunt Angelina Jolie hands Oscars to the writers of The Descendants for Adapted Screenplay and to Woody Allen for Original Screenplay for Midnight in Paris.

[10:25] These “heartfelt” celebrity montages are anything but.

[10:38] Billy Crystal makes a bad gay joke about J. Edgar.

[10:39] The Bridesmaids hand it to The Shore for Short Film and to Saving Face for Documentary Feature, but not before taking a drink in the Scorsese drinking game that no one bothered to tell us about. Gee, thanks, guys.

[10:45] Another one for Animated Short Film – and it goes to The Fantastic Flying Books.

[10:53] The Artist wins for Director.

[10:56] As seen on Twitter (@KathyGriffin): “Yknow what this Oscar ceremony REALLY needs? An offensive moment. Or at least a moment these stiffs will THINK is offensive.”

[10:58] Did nominee Meryl Streep wear that gold dress to send a message to the Academy, perhaps? Or as @JoyVBehar says on Twitter, “Whoever wins for best actor should just carry Meryl home.”

[11:03] Here comes the “In Memorium” segment. This admittedly always makes us misty and more than a bit melancholy. Here’s to many of the people we lost this year, including Jane Russell, Ken Russell, Farley Granger, Whitney Houston, Peter Falk, Cliff Robertson, Sidney Lumet, Sue Mengers, Steve Jobs, Jackie Cooper, Ben Gazzara and, of course, Elizabeth Taylor.

[11:15] The Black Swan announces Actor in a Leading Role: The Artist‘s very handsome Jean DuJardin.

[11:25] Will Glenn Close win it for playing a man in Albert Nobbs? We’ll know soon enough when Colin Firth – who’s played two gay roles in recent years in Mamma Mia and A Single Man – opens the envelope for Lead Actress.

[11:29] The Oscar goes to Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady. Gotta hand it to her – she can play everything from a convincing Margaret Thatcher or Julia Child to a lesbian mom in The Hours.

[11:30] As seen in Twitter (@SheWired): “Meryl thanks her hair stylist. No wonder she’s a gay icon.”

[11:32] Forget Apple, we’re investing in Botox. Tom Cruise looks like a teenager.

[11:36] And the Best Picture is … The Artist. Silent. Black and White. And French. Who knew? Oh, and the dog’s on stage.