Sleeping Arrangements

Should a college-aged kid share a bedroom with girlfriend ... in his parents' house? Plus: sexy stay-at-home dates

Hi Monica,
My son is home from college and wants his girlfriend to be able to sleep in his room when she visits from out of town. We have younger children in our household. What are your thoughts? —AR in Haverford

What your son does in college is his business, but when he comes home, he is no longer an independent player. Home involves a set of rules that do not offer the same freedoms that a college student is used to. Regardless of the sleeping arrangement, we all know what is going to happen at 3 a.m. when the girlfriend comes to visit. The important thing is, as the sun rises, the lovebirds must make their way to separate bedrooms. You do not want your younger children to see the two of them sleeping in the same room. Tell your son that you understand his needs, but he should consider the bigger picture as it impacts your family. My real concern is not that your son wants her to sleep in his bed, but rather that she would agree to that set-up in his parents’ home. Was she raised in a barn? In a nutshell, how the young lady chooses to present herself to his family speaks volumes.

Hey Monica,
I have no plans July 4th weekend. How do I make staying at home with my boyfriend into something sexy and fun? —CM, Center City

Why not stay indoors this holiday weekend? Philly has been extremely hot and humid. Perhaps a little hibernation is in order. Snuggling with your beau in air conditioning might end up being so romantic that you will not want to leave your house again. Here are some sexy, stay-at-home ideas: Cook a fantasy, multi-course meal together. Find out what his favorite recipes are and surprise him with your Iron Chef techniques. For fun, rent your favorite movies both old and new. Next, take a luxurious bath together. Load the tub with bubbles and bath oil, pour a couple of glasses of champagne and relax. Afterwards, throw down a blanket, light some candles and show him old pictures from your childhood. What could bring you closer together then sharing your awkward middle school years? A little imagination and enthusiasm can make time spent at home an adventure. If you want to treat yourself to something special invest in lace Hanky-Panky undies. Elizabeth Maar Boutique in Newtown Square and Haverford has the best selection. Unexpected surprises like this will undoubtedly put the sparkle in his July 4th!

Monica Mandell, Ph.D. is the Director of the Philadelphia office of Selective Search, the premiere (off-line) upscale matchmaking firm for the most eligible singles. Please send your questions to: