The only thing worse than a cell phone chirping in a restaurant or movie theater is one that rings to Beethoven's Fifth in its entirety, or “Back Dat Azz Up.” Last year, ringtone sales amounted to more than $80 million. If you're looking to get in on the action, here are a few locally themed tunes that should elicit smiles instead of one-finger salutes.

Action News Theme

That timpani! Those horns! Available for free on WPVI's website, it's compatible with a variety of cell phones. We recommend answering calls by saying, “What's the big story?”

“Oh, Dem Golden Slippers”

Get your daily Ferko fix by downloading a faithful, albeit primitive, version of the Mummers theme at Strutting is optional, and discouraged in small public places.

KYW Newsradio Theme
The venerable news station says it plans to convert its irritatingly unforgettable theme to a ringtone, hopefully by year's end. Enjoy Pavlovian delight when children hear your phone ring and salivate over the thought of snow-day school closings.

“Fly Eagles Fly”
(Search for “Eagles Victory”)
Oddly, you can't download the Eagles' oh-so-hummable fight song on their website. But good news for those who aren't satisfied with foam fingers and team-logoed underwear: Verizon Wireless offers the ditty free to its customers.

Mister Softee Theme

Alas, as ice-cream truck piracy escalates, Runnemede-based Mister Softee won't give up its tune for free anytime soon. (We're not kidding — the company successfully sued 40 bogus drivers for trademark infringement.) But the original sheet music — with lyrics! — is available on Softee's official website. Make friends with the IT guy at work and maybe he'll convert it to a ringtone for you.