Hallmark’s “Temu Cheesesteaks” Spark Outrage in Philly

A cheesesteak travesty / Scenes from Hallmark’s To Philly with Love

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Sorry, folks. I do not have the time nor the interest to watch Hallmark’s new romance/mystery/alt-history movie To Philly with Love. My limited television time is invested in finishing the second season of Beef on Netflix and rewatching Metalocalypse.

I did, however, sign up for a free trial of the Hallmark+ app just to skim through the movie and see if they did Philly justice. (Note to self: cancel before I’m charged $7.99 per month.) From what I could glean from the description and the few random scenes I did watch, there’s a teacher named Emma who wants to solve the mystery of some Revolutionary War love letters. She enlists the help of Nate, an archivist, and as they work together, searching the city for clues to decode the romantic correspondences, they end up falling in love with each other. Cute, right?

What is not cute is the horrifying mystery-meat jump scare that appears 26 minutes and 22 seconds into the movie. Our two protagonists settle in for a park bench lunch and unwrap these dusty stale rolls filled with thick chunks of dry, gray meat that they had the audacity to call cheesesteaks. The props master obviously did not research Philly food culture. The deli paper the sandwiches came in are not translucent from grease stains, the steaks are small enough to fit in one hand, and the fact they could be eaten on a bench without making a cheesy mess was all wrong. To make matters worse, Emma’s roll looks like it is burnt from the inside, like it was forgotten on the griddle, and Nate’s is oozing with what appears to be coagulated government cheese. Shout out to the actors, though, who had to suffer through eating these things and act like they enjoyed it. Top-tier acting.

Hallmark’s cheesesteak crimes

What kills me most about this is that, before this travesty, there was an entire cheesesteak-making montage at Carmen’s in Reading Terminal (which closed in October 2024). And though they filmed a lot of this movie in Ottawa, there were scenes in Philly. Hallmark was here! They could have just bought a real cheesesteak, but instead it looks like they flew two in from Ottawa and let them sit on set for hours before forcing the poor actors to endure those heinous sandwich hate crimes.

Part of me feels like Hallmark is purposely trolling us by calling these “cheesesteaks.” Like they knew some local food editor would attempt to watch this movie and raise a stink over what is clearly a meme. And they were right, because I posted screenshots of the atrocities Hallmark tried to pass off as cheesesteaks to r/PhiladelphiaEats, r/Philadelphia, and my personal Threads account (okay, and Bluesky, too, but no one follows me there), and the collective rage from locals warmed my heart. Because I have never seen the internet more united over something in my entire life. There are currently more than 100 comments across the posts I made, and the consensus is unanimous: these cheesesteaks are repulsive.

If you want to witness the horror yourself, the movie will air again on the Hallmark Channel on Saturday at 10 p.m. In the meantime, here’s what Philly had to say:

r/Philadelphia
The biggest crime here is you watching the Hallmark channel and then forcing us to be aware of this by proxy — WoodenInternet

They blow all their scenery money on fake snow. — JoeG_SoPhilly

You said Hallmark and I just assumed you meant Aramark. — 1000_words

Hallmark is the Aramark of entertainment. — seitanicverses

Is it more or less offensive that they made cheesesteaks a plot point? — broccoliwolf

It’s settled, we riot. — Chaz_Beer

This is an anti Philadelphian hate crime. — BigLoveForNoodles

r/PhiladelphiaEats
Well, in a way it matches the quality of Hallmark movies very well — Directrush4410

They’re going to lose their shit when they watch “A Christmas Cheesesteak” — dystopiadattopia

Roses are red.
Snowballs are white.
Get that shitty “cheesesteak” outta my sight!
– Impossible_Tap_1852

I’m sorry this ruined the immersive dramatic experience that was otherwise being provided by this Hallmark movie. —  Victormorga

Threads
Temu cheesesteak — allrtee

Why would they do this to us personally — mikeyil

What in the well-done London Broil is THAT — kfar519

They couldn’t find a food stylist from Philly? — visitphilly

I will not tolerate this sandwich heresy. — jennirussell

What in the SteakUms Baguette?!?! — shannon.mcdonald.photography

That’s a human rights violation — bettyhyes