Donuts and Prostitutes Don’t (Always) Mix

Here’s a free piece of advice for all of you young criminals out there: If you’re looking for a place to start your devious new criminal enterprise, DON’T DO IT AT A DONUT SHOP.

I mean, you’ve heard the jokes, right? About cops and donuts? Well those things aren’t just jokes. They have a kernel of truth to them.

And you know who knows that now? Melissa Redmond, 29, who is currently facing prostitution charges after “allegedly taking breaks from selling doughnuts and coffee [at a New Jersey Dunkin’ Donuts] to provide sexual services in exchange for money,” according to the Asbury Park Press.

There are two amazing things about this story, beyond the obvious goofiness of it.

First, the name of the sting operation carried out by police? Operation Extra Sugar, which is actually kind of clever. At least by police standards, where names tend to run from the weird (Operation Cookie Monster) to the macho (Operation Street Sweeper) to the oddly appropriate (like Operation Doublemint, which took down twin crack dealers Darrell and David Williams in Florida, and which I can’t believe hasn’t been made into a terrible Nicolas Cage movie).

Second amazing thing? Operation Extra Sugar was a six-week investigation. That’s 42 days to take down one 29-year-old woman offering blow jobs out behind the DD. Something tells me this case would’ve been wrapped up a little bit faster had the woman been working at an all-night vegetarian restaurant.

But she wasn’t. She worked the night shift at a donut shop. And, apparently, it never occurred to her that a cop might wander in while she was off in the back parking lot, offering the “special menu” to select customers.

If you’re after an afternoon laugh, check out the full story here.