6 Strangest Things Ever Done With Peeps

I don’t know what it is about Peeps that inspires such loathsomeness and creativity in people. Maybe it’s the colors. Maybe it’s the simplicity of them–just gobs of marshmallow, and yet imbued somehow with an almost Zen-like calm. Or maybe there’s something in the food dyes that makes normally rational people go plumb loco when in their presence.

Over the years, folks have done all sorts of weird things with Peeps (see for example: Peeps dioramas, Peeps dresses, and the Peep Jesus), but none of those even come close to what we have collected here: The 6 strangest things ever done with, near or involving Peeps.


Peep Haute Cuisine: I know how tempting it can be… You’ve got all this kitchen equipment lying around, shelves full of cookbooks, and that package of Peeps is just crying out to be center-plated in some way that will show all the people on your blog just how fun you can be.

The above photo is of Deviled Cadbury Creme Eggs with Whipped Peeps and a Graham Crumble, courtesy of the crew over at Gothamist (who also came up with a recipe for Peeps with Fried Plantains and Mint Ribbons), but their kitchen experiments are far from the worst out there. That dubious honor would go to the sonofabitch who first invented the Peep-tini–which, if you couldn’t guess, if a Peep martini. Sacrilege.

Peep-Eating Contest: Seriously? I don’t know if any scholarly research has been done on the subject, but it can’t possibly be healthy to step away from the table with eight pounds of gently masticated peep-fluff in your gut. At best, you’re going to be sick. And at worst? I’m picturing something along the lines of that scene from Alien when the chestburster gnawed it’s way out of that dude’s chest.

Except this time it won’t be an alien and you’ll be wishing it was only coming through your rib cage.

Peep Sushi: Actually, I think this one is kind of awesome. I mean, if you consider eating Peeps in their natural state–straight out of the package, no prep, no chaser–to be equivalent to Peep sashimi, then the next logical step would be a little fancy knife work, some Rice Krispies Treats rice, and an artful presentation. The good folks from seriouseats.com put this spread together last year and it remains the gold standard for Peep sushi today.

Peeps Movies: Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Just about every Star Trek episode ever–if there’s a piece of video out there with even a shred of geek cred to it, it’s likely that someone with a bootleg copy of Final Cut Pro and WAY too much time on their hands has filmed an all-Peeps version of it. Or at least started to.

See, the problems with the Peeps movie industry are the same as the problem with the non-Peeps movie industry, and any budding young filmmaker wanting to do a Peeps version of Avatar would be wise to keep a close eye on these three things:

1) Budget. Sure, the Peeps are cheap. So are actors. What’s not so cheap is when the lights get left on a little too long while you’re arranging your crowd scene and you’re left trying to scrub 200 melted Peeps out of your carpet before your girlfriend (read: mom) gets home.
2) Studio Backing. Most Hollywood studio heads have the attention spans of goldfish–they drop $200 million on some project at 9am and, by 5pm have forgotten all about it. Since the Peep movie industry is pretty much totally indy, you’re going to be your own studio head, so if you’re going to attempt something like filming the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy using nothing but Peeps, you’d better understand that what seems like a fun little lark ’round Easter might become somewhat less amusing when you’re still working on the prolog come the 4th of July.
3) Audience. Peeps doing human things are funny for about a minute and a half. Two minutes if there’s a nude scene. Jaws was 124 minutes long. My suggestion? Just do the “You’re going to need a bigger boat” scene, skip right to where Quint gets bitten in half, then have your two Peep heroes swim off into the sunset. That’s cinema gold.

Peeps Underpants: There is no way that’s comfortable. Or hygenic.

Peeps Porn: This is just wrong in more ways than I can count.

Sexy, sure. But just wrong…