Here Are the 7 Most Wildly Expensive Pieces From the H&M x Balmain Collection

Here's what we like, dislike and are sort of terrified by.

Expensive H&M

Money, money, money, money. (Psst: The bottom two jackets are for the boys.) | Images via Fashionista.

The latest H&M designer collaboration – this time with Balmain – is causing a splash, as they always do. But this time it’s for the prices as much as it is for the sparkle, shimmer and second-skin fit. (Balmain’s creative director, Olivier Rousteing, often dresses the Kardashian clan, if that helps paint a picture for you.) Of the 109-piece collection, six pieces ring in at over $500. Nine are over $300, and the bulk of the collection is in the $200-$300 range.

Here’s the problem, though: All of it smacks of Kardashian. And not good Kardashian (Kendall), but bad Kardashian (Kris). While I want to imagine that metallic pink dress worn effortlessly with, say, a pair of coolly clashy heels (Sophia Webster, perhaps?) or pulled off with good ol’ badassery (Rihanna), I imagine Kris Jenner being poured into it and, well, it’s ruined. Same goes for the dress at the top left corner above. And, sigh, this green sequined one, which I fear only Kate Moss could carry off, with her trademark mussed rocker-chick swagger. While Jourdan Dunn and Gigi Hadid can pull off that draped red satin miniskirt ($99) with aplomb, many of us can’t – and shouldn’t. 

Other pieces feel as if they’ve been lifted from an eighties-era Sears, like a duo of silk-ish blouses with a high neck, button detailing on the shoulder and fitted cuffs. It’s all a bit Golden Girls. I guarantee most shoppers would flit right over these if they found them in, say, a thrift store. But in Rousteing’s hands, they’re golden. (And at $99, they’ll surely fly off the shelves. Blanche Devereaux for all!)

Blouses

Paging Blanche Devereaux. | Images via Fashionista.

Some of the inexpensive buys are bandeau bras ($24.99), a men’s tank ($29.99), Balmain logo t-shirts for men and women ($34.99; prepare to see these everywhere), man beanies ($17.99), semi-random pouches ($34.99), and jewelry (most of which you’ve seen in some iteration in every single fast-fashion store ever, though a gold-toe boot for women, $249, is cute).

Accessories

Assorted accessories. | Images via Fashionista.

To be fair, it’s difficult to judge anything too harshly from afar, as it all comes down to how the fabric feels and how it looks on the body. A faux fur kimono-wrap jacket looks downright flammable online; in person, it might skew just kooky enough to work. A leather moto jacket with gold hardware looks great at first glance, but at $399, it’s questionable whether the leather quality can hold up. A long, double-breasted blazer, $149, could be great, but only if the fabric isn’t scratchy or otherwise cheap-looking in person.

Coats

Faux fur, leather and blazers for days. | Images via Fashionista.

The collection launches in stores and online November 5th. My advice? Choose wisely. (Fashionista has a great slideshow of all the pieces and prices; see it here.) Just keep this visual in mind as you’re shopping.