Noooo, Snooki Just Opened An Etsy Store

It's everything I wanted and more.

Image via Etsy

Just a sampling of the shop’s offerings | Image via Etsy

Let me preface this post by stating that I *gulp* like Snooki. Sure, she wears furry animals on her feet and owns enough leopard print to clothe a small country, but really, who am I to judge? Her babies are super-cute and I think her friendship with Jwoww is a testament to sisterhood, so wear that (inexplicably high) poof proud, I say.

However, when I received word today that the Jersey Shore‘s most prominent alum launched an Etsy shop, aptly titled NicolesCraftRoom (shedding the ‘guidette’ image, I see), I cringed at the possibilities. What could Nicole’s craft room possibly house? Bedazzled baby onesies? Those can’t be safe.

But, nope, it was worse. Or better. (I’m still deciding.)

The shop includes mugs that read “You’re the Jwoww to my Snooki,” wine glasses with “Jesus take the wheel” written in puff paint, and a few other drinking vessels with questionable phrases like “This makes me poop.” According to Styleite, the items cost $15 to $100 and none of the items are dishwasher safe. All the text and designs are scrawled in poor pseudo-serif penmanship with what appears to be sharpie or puff paint. And for the life of us, we can’t figure out what could’ve cost $100.

The bad (or good) news: Everything is sold out and 159 Nicole LaValle originals will be en route to lucky Shore fans all over America. The shop memo currently reads “EVERYTHING IS SOLD OUT! Getting Xmas orders out, open soon! Check back!” so do with that information what you may. I will unabashedly admit that I’ll be checking back frequently—if only for the entertainment value.