A Glimpse into the Terrifying World of Home Staging Props

Conventional wisdom says a home will sell more quickly if buyers are able to effortlessly imagine their own lives inside the property. Wolf kitchen appliances can conjure a lifetime of healthy gourmet delights. A well-placed treadmill in a finished basement can convince a couch potato that this home will help him stick to his exercise routine. Who doesn’t want that house?

So, as HGTV tells us, many realtors turn to staging and interior design to perk up buyer interest. And it works. But sometimes, things get really serious. And an artfully thrown shawl over the corner of the couch isn’t going to do it. Sometimes, props become necessary. There are listings in this town that will entice you with beautiful glasses of champagne and tins of glistening caviar. But beware, reader. Styrofoam and plastic that way lurk.

Below, a sampling of what is available to master stagers.

First up, the electronics. Are you selling Great Aunt Isabel’s South Philly rowhome? Did she buy her last television in 1987? Just bring in this plastic fake for $80!

Plastic TV!

The manufacturer points out that a bottom-mounted speaker adds to the verisimilitude.

Don’t worry. If you’re not going for a Food Network vibe, they also offer alternate screen wraps. This one looks familiar:

Logan Circle

It’s been a while since the cherry blossoms were there.

Want to convey that dinners in this home will be all-class? Try the $49.95 faux steak.

Mmm, grill marks.

Leftovers last forever.

Perhaps you’d like some beer with dinner?

Beer here

Now available: add condensation to your mug in checkout.

And finally, dessert:


Won’t melt in your mouth or your hands.