Bride-to-be Blogger Stephanie: Choosing—And Asking!—My Bridesmaids

The super cute cards Stephanie gave her bridesmaids-to-be; photo from Etsy shop TakeItPersonallybyM.

Who do I want to stand by my side during the most important day of my life? How do I decide who to include, and whose feelings I could hurt by not including them?

Choosing my bridesmaids was another decision I struggled with. There were two no-brainers: my identical twin sister, Victoria, and my best friend since grade school, Emily. They are an integral part of my life, and the day simply couldn’t happen without them.

But beyond that, I was conflicted. Including all of the women I care about would guarantee a massive bridal party, which I’ve been pretty adamant about attempting to avoid. I’d really like to steer away from a parade of people walking down the aisle.

Growing up, rather than being ultra peer-oriented, I was always most interested in hanging out with my family—my parents, my cousins, my aunts and uncles. Including family in my wedding party, I think, is an important reflection of how important and valuable they are to me. And so many past brides have relayed to me how they wish they would have included more family in their own bridal parties, as many of the friends they included have come and gone.

The problem: I have many cousins, particularly girl cousins. How do I pick and choose? Do I go with nearly all family? Of my friends, how do I choose one over the other without hurting feelings? Do I consider my coworkers that I’ve become so close with? Do I consider the girlfriends of my brother and brothers-to-be? Do I take into account out-of-state versus in-state – or in my case, out-of-country? Do I go with seven, even though Pat will have six groomsmen?

I was confused, constantly contemplating and second-guessing. But I decided I needed to stop worrying about it. It really came down to who I wanted more than anything to be by side and how I can incorporate all the other extremely important women in my life in other ways throughout the wedding.

The girls I settled on—my sister, two cousins, and four friends—are women that mean a great deal to me, who I deeply care about, who have watched my relationship unfold before them, and who possibly found just as much happiness in our engagement as I have. They’re women who I want to share the happiest day of my life with. They’re women who I believe will make the day that much happier.

Once I finally came to a decision, I wanted to ask the girls in a fun way. I went on Etsy, and after perusing plenty of adorable offerings, I found, on the shop TakeItPersonallybyM, cards shaped as dresses, complete with sash, featuring these beautiful worlds articulating exactly what I wanted to say:

“There is something magical about weddings. It is as if the bride, groom, and their friends are almost invincible. That’s because the people that stand with them are a statement. A statement that says, I love these people, they are my life past, present, and future, and I am so proud to have them as part of the biggest day of my life. Will you be that person? Will you be my bridesmaid?”

Trying to please everyone—a problem I’ve found myself encountering more and more as the wedding process goes on—made choosing my bridesmaids a bit of a challenge. But I’m very excited to have final picked a group of girls to share this experience with me.

Was choosing your bridal party a challenge or a breeze? Were you fearful of hurting anyone’s feeling?

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