Soundtrack to a Gay Halloween Horror Story

Via Shutterstock

Via Shutterstock

Halloween (otherwise known as Gay Christmas), especially out at the bar, is a cross between Eyes Wide Shut and the portal to John Malkovich’s brain. With little irony, people you know walk up and say hello without acknowledging that you clearly aren’t able to tell who they are.

I’m lousy at planning costumes, so I get into the spirit by pretending that I am the innocent guy in some twisted horror movie, and I’ve woken up as the only person who didn’t turn into some other character. In this sordid tale, I will be stuck talking to wasted, attention starved queens for the rest of my existence.

My journey will be harrowing but I will probably fall in love with some mysterious, mostly-naked Zorro about two-thirds my age. He will speak little English but I won’t be able to place his accent (Brazilian or Romanian? Who can say in these crazy times?). I will go back and forth between trusting him and questioning his intentions. All of this will happen while surrounded by throngs of miscellaneous comic book characters and pop princesses (loose term for sure) making out with each other and dancing perfectly off beat after that tenth shot of the venom that is Fireball Whiskey.

The soundtrack to this movie would need to be alternately brooding and terrifying, peppered with some light moments to give the audience an occasional breather. That’s just my style.

To help you live my nightmare, I’ve listed my movie soundtrack for you here, but make sure to head over to the entire Spotify play list for 50+ songs to freak out your big gay Halloween party. Depending on your costume, it may just scare your boobs off.

Zola Jesus – Go (Deep Sea)

Sometimes you need isolation. Alterna-punk-pop remixed by Philly native and magazine-cover-hog Diplo, Zola Jesus’ haunting and intense delivery will bring lovely psychological gloom to your Halloween party.

Verite – Weekend

Girl alternapop about short-term love, or suicide. You decide. It’s the soundtrack to a bittersweet ending.

Phantogram – Black Out Days

Yet another piece of brilliance from the NYC electronic rock duo Phantogram, complete with a spooky chant teeming with uncertainty and despair.

Ella Henderson – Ghost

Love lost can be more painful than Matt Bomer jabbing you in the throat with a metal fingernail. At least in this movie.

Natalia Kills – Saturday Night

The quickly exiled evil queen of pop dance has a breadth of dark songs to spook your soundtrack, but as Halloween falls on a Saturday, let’s keep our spirits dark with a song about the most revered night of the gay week.

Maya Jane Coles – What They Say

Here’s some eerie deep house that will bring you to the dark side. Definitely more Amityville Horror than Evil Dead.

Hole – I Think That I Would Die

Headed up by happy-go-lucky Courtney Love, Hole’s first two albums could soundtrack your whole Halloween.

Goldfrapp – Lovely 2 C U

She has heaven but she craves hell, a concept that only true horror fans will get. This one comes from the notoriously difficult Miss Goldfrapp’s Supernature LP.

Golden Boy feat. Miss Kittin – Rippin Kittin

Well known for dark techno and technopop, Miss Kittin lays out a horror scenario for your most ironic hipster dance party.

Lady Gaga – Judas

You always fall for the bad boys.

DJ Carl Michaels can be found here.