New Jersey Man Tried to Sneak Gun Between Cheeks

Here's why Darquan Lee finds himself the, ahem, butt of a lot of jokes this morning.

Any day that the Philadelphia Daily News has a chance to make a gross joke on its cover is a really, really good day for the Daily News, and for all of us, really. Let us all bow our heads and give thanks for how a great tabloid headline can enrich city life:

So yes, this is the story about how Darquan Lee, 21, attempted to hide a small firearm in his butt — only to be caught by observant jail personnel. Let’s let the Bridgeton (N.J.) Police Department tell their own story, via Facebook:

Lee was arrested for a contempt of court warrant, searched and brought to the police station. Lee asked to use the bathroom and when he was advised that the bathroom would be searched before and after he used it and after he was patted down again, he refused to use the bathroom. His actions and behavior led officers to believe that he was possibly hiding contraband in his anal cavity. He was transported to the county jail where officers informed jail personnel that they believed that Lee was possibly hiding contraband. After jail personnel conducted a strip search of Lee, they informed Bridgeton Officers that they recovered a loaded .25 cal automatic shoved in his anal cavity located in between his “Butt cheeks”. The weapon was recovered and Lee was processed on the new weapons offenses. The handgun was also reported stolen from Alabama.

Lee was picked up on a contempt of court warrant, and now faces firearms charges and, because the gun was stolen, charges of receiving stolen property. That’s the whole story. No ifs, ands, or … you get the idea.