Evan Turner Has Negative $48 in His Bank Account

He thinks we're losers for writing that.

Evan Turner posted this on his Instagram this afternoon, writing: “Bank account look like im ready for early retirement…”


His next Instagram, with the caption “Lame bloggers should get a life. #writeaboutthat” is even better. If that’s possible.


I’m going to assume Evan Turner is preemptively addressing me with that one, simply for writing about his bank account.

Look, Evan, if you’re reading this: I know you make $6,679,866, and next year you’ll make $8,717,225. But after that, your contract expires, and I’m worried about you. If you’re running low, move out of your swank apartment, get yourself to West Philly, and rehab an old house in a gentrifying neighborhood. Get rid of your car and buy a bike. Cancel your basketball camp and feed yourself dammit!


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