Philly Drag Queens Take a Crack at Naming the Royal Baby

From Titties Rothchild Mcguillicutty to Mongo Lloyd of the House of Chromosome, Philly drag queens try their darndest to help Will and Kate find a good baby name.

Drag queen babies, from L-R, Icon Ebony-Fierce, Tammy Faymous, Maddy Milan and Cleo Phatra.

Dear Will and Kate,

We know you’ve already got a name picked out, and it’s probably 18 words long starting with something like Phillip or Albert or Victoria or Charlemagne. We get it, there’s protocol, but come on, it’s the 21st century. Your granny just approved gay marriage, for God’s sake. It would be totally cool if you chucked convention and got creative with your little prince or princess’s name.

We know you’re knicker deep in all your daily royal-ceremony stuff, so to help you get the creative juices flowing, we asked a handful of Philadelphia drag queens to offer some baby-name suggestions, because who knows more about witty names than a drag queen?

Below you’ll find all kinds of options — from little boy names to little girl names and some that are just plain trashy. Let us know which one you choose!

Sincerely,

Dame G Philly

MARTHA GRAHAM CRACKER

Regina King Middleton

BRITTANY LYNN

Willandkate Pluseight (pounds)

Roy-el Jel-he

Titties Rothchild Mcguillicutty

BEV

Royal Blue Ivy (to chap Beyoncé’s ass)

Latifah (in the event she were to ever become queen)

Sperm (Like North West, his full name would be Sperm Wales)

NOTORIOUS O.M.G.

The Grand Empress Most High

Duchess of Earl Grey

Lead Secretary of Hats, Fascinators, and Other Cranial Accoutrement

ALAYA RICHMIN

Basterdnina Whorebaby of the House of Stretchedvag

Limey Fistuptheass of the House of Latex

Mongo Lloyd of the House of Chromosome

ANN ARTIST

Not Diana

CLEO PHATRA

Double (Windsor)

Martha-rose Donna

PORCELAIN

Royal Bortion

ICON EBONY-FIERCE

Miss Anita Bump

MADDY MILAN

Figgy Pudding

TAMMY FAYMOUS

Beyoncé

G PHILLY (because we couldn’t help ourselves)

Breaking Windsor

Phil Scepter

Haha Imfurst

Have some funny, gay suggestions you’d like to contribute? Drop  names in the comment section below.

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