Tax Loophole for Americans With Mustaches Exposes Idiots in Congress
Congress has been exposed by a mustache. We owe a big thanks to the American Mustache Institute. The organization has been lobbying for something called the Stache Act, which stands for Stimulus to Allow for Critical Hair Expenses—a facial-hair tax loophole providing a $250 dollar-a-year tax credit for every mustached American to pay for essential grooming supplies.
I know it sounds ridiculous. It gets better.
The Stache Act has been referred to the powerful Congressional Ways and Means Committee, which means it is one step closer to becoming law. It was introduced by Maryland Republican Congressman Roscoe Bartlett, who dons a dapper mustache and feels like a dope today.
The American Mustache Institute is an elaborate parody. First clue: The group is planning its “Million Mustache March” to support the Stache Act in Washington, D.C. on April Fool’s Day.
Congressman Bartlett is quoted as saying he knows nothing about the mustache tax loophole legislation and that he didn’t refer it to committee, one of his staffers did.
In fairness to the congressman, this is just the way things work in Washington. Lobbyist’s bills are passed on without review and often made into law. If you want to know why the tax code is so screwed up and why the government doesn’t bring in enough revenue, look no further than the Stache Act. Tax loopholes are handed out like candy in Washington.
If you are a mustachioed American, I’m sorry to say that the Stache Act has no chance of being passed now that it has been outed as a joke. However, it may be the most important piece of failed legislation in a long time.
Thank you to the American Mustache Institute for brilliantly exposing how broken our government is.
As for Congressman Roscoe Bartlett, good luck in your re-election campaign. I have a feeling you’ll be seeing a lot of fake mustaches. If I were running against you, I’d be handing them out like, well, like tax loopholes.