NJ Politician Louis Magazzu Makes an Increasingly Common Mistake

Newsflash for men: You care much more about your penis than we do

So now it’s powerful South Jersey politician and father of five Louis Magazzu—Cumberland County freeholder, former chair of that county’s Democratic Party—who’s stepped down after naked photos of him turned up online. Magazzu originally sent the cell-phone photos at the request of a woman friend who, it turned out, was in cahoots with what he now calls “an avowed political enemy.” Hey, Lou? Guess what? This is going to come as a huge shock to you, I know, since you clearly think your dick is the eighth wonder of the world. But women don’t want to see it. We don’t want to see grainy gray cell-phone photos of Anthony Weiner’s underpants, either, or Christopher Lee’s torso. Venus to Mars: We don’t care!

Is there some way we can make this more plain for you? If a lady-friend you chat with online asks you to text her photos of your naked bod, she’s not your lady-friend. And if she doesn’t ask—if you just spontaneously feel like making the magnanimous gesture of gifting her with a cell-phone snap of your most private parts—you’re dumber than dirt. That is not your best side.

You know those gorgeous, glossy, expensively staged porn magazines you love to “read”? Women don’t. We’re not wired that way. You know who types the words “free porn” into search engines 97 percent of the time? Guys, that’s who. Remember Playgirl? It stopped printing a print edition. Then it came back to print, but with an audience its own spokesman admits is predominantly male. If we didn’t want to see Keith Urban’s turgid spear, gentlemen, why would we want to see yours?

Sending naked cell-phone photos to a woman isn’t “flirting.” Buying her flowers is flirting. Staring into her eyes over a couple of glasses of good wine is flirting. Dancing with her is flirting. Pulling down your Dockers to take a photo of your personal tent city? Not.

Samantha on Sex and the City is a fictional character. You want a woman’s gratitude and affection? Keep your cell phone in your damned pocket and vacuum the living room.

See Post contributor Victor Fiorillo’s Q&A with the man who exposed Magazzu’s photos, Carl B. Johnson (really), here.