Ask G Philly: Answering Reader Questions

I’m Jewish and my girlfriend is Catholic. We both agreed that she should put up a Christmas tree this year. I’m not a practicing Jew so the tree doesn’t bother me at all. My family, however, wasn’t too pleased when they saw the tree earlier this month. They were also upset that we exchange “Christmas” gifts. Is there any way to resolve this without someone being offended?

If the tree doesn’t bother you or your girlfriend, I would say there is very little to resolve. It’s your home. As visitors, your family should be expected to respect the way in which you both choose to live and express the holiday season.

The bigger question here is whether the problem is really with the tree. I suspect it’s a bit more complicated. Is it possible that your family is less upset with the tree and more upset with the fact that you don’t practice Judaism? If so, it’s going to take time.

If there are reasons you aren’t feeling religious this time of year, then maybe talk to your family about it. Or you could always create an environment that’s more secular – or that combines both faiths. As long as you two are happy with the tree – and the Christmas gifts – it’s really your family who needs to do the resolving. Not you.

I recently found out that a friend of mine is cheating on his live-in boyfriend. They’ve been together for several years – and I am friends with both of them. Should I say anything?

Just because you may have heard that someone is cheating on someone else you know doesn’t mean it’s true. If you decide to talk to anyone about it, your best bet is the friend of yours who you suspect of cheating. Perhaps let him know what you’ve heard and encourage him to reach out of he needs to talk about anything.

Also keep in mind that while you may know this couple, you may not know the intricacies of their relationship. Perhaps they have an agreement that allows one or both of them to explore other opportunities from time to time? Or maybe after being together for “several years” they decided to spice things up with an open relationship?

If neither of these reasons applies – and your friend really is cheating – it’s probably still none of your business. If you get involved in something you don’t know all the facts about, you risk losing both friends and causing more chaos than necessary in their relationship. Sometimes it’s best to keep your mouth shut. The only exception to this rule is if someone may be in danger. If that’s the case, just talk to your friend. You may be surprised by what he tells you.

Got a question for G Philly? Email nmcdonald@phillymag.com.