Philly and the Single Lesbian

An open letter to my parents. By Crystal Fox

Dear Mom and Dad,

It’s been awhile, five years to be exact, since we last talked. You left for Corpus Christie for retirement, ashamed of your daughter’s “choices,” in “lifestyle,” career (or lack thereof at the time), and friends. But, most importantly, for the decision to not shove my tail between my legs and run back into the closet and to not leave with you to “start new” and “keep the family together.” You took my independence (what makes me an authentic, fully actualized person) as a threat and you left – to never be seen or heard from again.

Since you have left I have found a career I enjoy. Working my way up the ranks in the kitchen, I am putting myself through culinary school. I have loved, and most definitely lost. I have had bumps in the road where I wish I had that hug from a mother that just makes everything “ok” again, and the stern lecture that only a father can give. But I have found it within myself to go forward and to make it. At some points I was working 75 hours a week and sleeping only three hours a night – but all for the greater good.

I’m not angry you left me physically or moreover, emotionally. I want to thank you. You have unknowingly given me the greatest gift I could ever request on any holiday or birthday. You have given me a drive and desire to live like I never knew I had it within myself. You have given me the emotional wherewithal to recognize what I can handle and what is over my head, and how to deal with both. You have given me strength. And for this, I thank you.

I will continue my private tradition of buying an ornament for each Christmas we are not together – in hopes that one day you will see a tree filled with the milestones you have missed. I hope the holidays treat you well and say hello to the dogs. They are missed.


Your Daughter. Crystal

Crystal Fox is a chef and blogger in Philadelphia who’s dating again. Will she find love? Stay tuned!