Philly and the Single Lesbian

Contrary to popular belief, humans are not a species that mate for life – yet many of us out there deem finding one’s “other half” as a realistic goal.

But why?

Because this time it’s forever? This time that person is everything I could ask for in a partner? Why, knowing that we aren’t wired to mate for life, do we continually set ourselves up for what will be inevitable heartache and heartbreak?

I suppose if we were to dig deep down inside and really tear away the layers of the psyche, I guess we would have to say (maybe) we do it for the love of “firsts.” First dates, first initial butterflies in the stomach (or as I call it, “vaginal tinglies”), the first time you have sex together, say “I love you,” first fight, first make-up sex, first house purchase.

Case and point is when you ask a couple who has been together for many years how they do it. The most common response is by keeping things fresh, (i.e., generate new and exciting little “firsts” that keep their partner on their toes and interested).

Through the close of my current relationship, I’ve come to discover a new first for me: the realization that maybe it’s time to choose the more species-correct route, and just go solo for awhile. No typical lesbian dating for me where you have a series of dates and then three weeks later you seem to be fully entangled in each other’s lives, not really sure how either of you got there.

I hope to meet new people, expand my friend circle (without the incestuous melodrama that usually entails), go out, and be me…or this new variation of me.

So will this new beginning somehow end in a relationship, a better understanding of my current situation, or “love?” For now, no, I don’t think so. But there is a first time for everything …and that is what keeps the hunt alive.

Crystal Fox is a chef and blogger in Philadelphia who’s dating again. This is the first installment of her ongoing adventures as a single lesbian to be posted on G Philly. Will she find love? Stay tuned!